Sometimes i cant sleep well for weeks... so i wrote this.
Changing my stlye abit wanted to see how it would come out without rhyming.




Another night
Another nightmare
Toss and turn… only me trying to sleep again
I feel alone
To alone
I feel trapped
To trapped
Mind full of evil parallel thoughts
Memories of all the pain i caused everyone circling my head
Toss and turn... only me trying to sleep again
Holding tight to my blanket… sweat dripping from my forehead
There is no relief… no aide
What else could i do?
I pray to survive another day
To not cause pain
To not destroy
To not torment
Just another day of no sin
I’m feeling lonely
To lonely to see anyone
I’m feeling sorrow
But there is no hope now...
I try to cry but i just can’t
I toss and turn
For another day of sin~

Good job. The structure was good, en the wordin was good too. You did a great job of putin imagery in it. Overall I liked it and thought that it was a good piece, especially seeing this is the first time that you decided not to use ur rhyme scheme. My opinion is that it came out iight. Good job. Keep em comin. Much respect.

Thnx mami.

Keep em coming

upin

good drop. The struture was very well done and thought out. i love reding this it was a great read. this piece was very well put together. thank for a great read

damn, you suck lol just fucken with ya this was actually pretty good, i think you could elavate on yout structure it would help you weith your thoughts cuz u could explain more clearer, but for this it was pretty basic your feelings so it was a good emotional read an hope ye get some sleep man no more wet dreams lol pz

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The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

hehehe^^: )