3 Replies
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...5847#post915847
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...5849#post915849
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...5854#post915854

I been trying to write you something, but I wanted it perfect
I really don’t know what to say, because I've been a jerk, shit
Went berserk and quit, because I realized that I still love you
I’ve had to shove through, bid my ego adieu, I wanna hug you
And kiss you, till you understand how much I really miss you
I reminisce too, about all of the days before I became stupid
And ignored the fact, that I had really been blessed by cupid
He gave me the chance, shot the arrow at my perfect match
Threw the ball right at my face, took for granted I could catch
When you were the best thing, that I’ve ever caught to this day
An angel named Shea, without her my whole life’s in dismay
My life’s been a play, I been acting too much, ignoring the script
Thought if I stayed out of the puddles, I wouldn’t be able to slip
But I fell, flat on my back, open my eyes to find that I’m in hell
I could tell by the smell, I tried to yell for somebody to help
No one listened except you, after all the shit I put you through
You deserve to hear the truth, but I still wanna say thank you
If wasn’t able to talk to you, I would have gone crazy and blew
It would have just made things worse, like everything else I do
I’m not begging for forgiveness, I know that it takes time to heal
Tired of concealing my emotions, my world seems so surreal
Like am I behind the wheel? I’m not talking about an automobile
I’m talking about the way I feel, because I hit the banana peel
And now I’m down in a kneel, with my arms spread out wide
Hoping for at least a hug, to feel warmth again at my side
I’ve been missing it this whole time; I found that the earth is cold
I sold my soul to the devil, and sunk down to a lower level
Now I hear the sound of revel, and I’m having anxiety attacks
Cause I'm sitting on a question, could you ever take me back?

Some funny twists in this, ..combined with a nice flow, ..and a ok concept..

Like am I behind the wheel? I’m not talking about an automobile
I’m talking about the way I feel, because I hit the banana peel

Lol^

It was an nice read..to bad its bein slept on^

Up^

__________________
Fuck you

yeha, thanks for replying...

zzzZZZzZZzZZzZZzZZZzZzz

quit nappin, wake the fuck up!

i like it went from serious to just fuck!!!!!!
illness

dont sleep fuckers... i need some serious feedback... this is seriously going to my girl, how is it? do you think its good enough?

This had a dope structure. .Text wise this was ill, I've come to learn structure isn't important at all in audios, but the meaning & rhymes were great, Some multis in here, could've done with more really, good inners to help carry the flow. .Pz

If your sending it to your girl, she'll like that....
I thought the flow was good, tight structure
some good wordplay, the concept was a mediocre one
but the mindset you wrote it in makes it dope....

Sweet piece hoe

---outtie

Up...

this was a hot drop... i like how u built it up from serious with twists... you had a nice concept here, kinda played... but u dropped it really well and it worked... flow was on point, vocab was good... dope wordplay... but u shouldve used some multis, that would made it 10/10... peace

check out my open mic, "Rap Magnetism"... thanks

Up....

Nice Nice Nice...
Ill, one of your best pieces man. The structure was good, your flow was good, Everything was as good as it gets. Sure, the topic was "played" but who doesn't want to write to there girl or whatnot? You seemed to show a nice display of emotions, and I have no way of really giving you anything constructive here, when you came off nicely in this topic.

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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

WERD WERD WERD. This joint was nice. The flow was crazy but the topic was a lil played out. But keep spittin homey. And return the favor.

Corrupted Mind

up...

up... jesus