hey, this is a poem my friend actually wrote, but she dont want a RB name and shes never really written a poem before, so please give feedback on this and critique her well, I will be sure to send her everything posted. Thanks much! enjoy the read.

Wanting to know if it’s really true
That someone special is crazy 'bout you
Feelings so strong, love's getting deep
His love is something I need to keep
I can't let you go, I want you real bad
But what I want least is seeing you sad
I don’t want to hurt, I don’t want to cry
Deep inside I want you to be my guy
Is this love, is this real?
Do you want to stay in this deal?
Why you keep on changing your mind
Love is what you’ve got to find
If its love then let me know
If its not then let me go
I don’t want to be just another girl
Who’s in and out of your mixed up world
You bring me in and push me out
I don’t know what that’s all about
You tell me that I broke your heart
Do you think I want us to be apart?
Long hug, short kiss
This is something I cannot miss
Whether or not you love me
Ill keep on loving you, that’s the way its gonna be
Starting to realize, I’m thinking its true
Crazy bout me, I’m crazy bout you

for never really have written a poem before, this was good.

she wrote it to get feelings out and it worked, she wrote on a topic thats done alot but was still a good read.

the intro was good, and so was the conclusion
vocab could be picked up
structure was good, but in a few places i felt like it need another beat, or one had to be gone
emotion was felt, and did a good job getting thoughts displayed.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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this was good for a "first-timer"

she got the emotion out well
the structure was sort of weak, but so was the rhyme, so they balanced out
but for a deeper impact she should try to elevate it
the vocab could be elevated also

but none the less this was a nice piece
tell her to keep elevatin
keep writin

__________________
~.:Soft Focus:.~
{--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --}
{-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-}
{--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--}
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{ --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--}
Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."