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Old 11-23-03, 10:57 AM   #1
Edicius
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[- SS: Between Sheets..-]

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Between Sheets..

U just close u'r eyes, and i will kiss ur lips,
there will be no suprise, when i jus touch ur hips.
Like it was before just u and me,
together again u know we can be free.
So just take my hand..and better give it in,
we start over again with a perfect begin.
But this is just a dream it will be never the same,
i fucked it all up , now im just filled with pain.
Still i will never stop, continue till i drop,
when theres is nothing left, with my head to the floor,
realizin that, i cant get back what i adore.
So just put a stop to that search for happyness,
cuz it is just no good only pain nothing less.
Couldnt tell u why i feld o so alone,
why there is not a place thats close to call my home.
And than we got my life of wich im feelin shame,
but who can help, when im the one to blame.
But still i found, u came into my life,
i wished i wasnt a prick than now u be my wife.
But i'm jus made to fail, and this proves it again,
im not made for joy i'm only good for sin.
So now i'm fallin apart the puzzle cant be fixed,
and the feelings fear, & pain will be further mixed.
So now im all alone, were can i feel myself free?,
now that ur no more here, now theres no u and me.
So no im back in search, were can i find it now,
but it was oh so close i realised it wow.
That thing ive'd searched so hard to satisfy my needs,
is in bed my eyes closed between sheets ..


So i can dream ...of how its ment to be...
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Old 11-23-03, 10:58 AM   #2
Edicius
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Reply's:
13th Apostle
High class
Big joke

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Old 11-23-03, 10:59 AM   #3
2hOt4tV
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Straight fire in this one Fo Real Dawg
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Old 11-23-03, 11:19 AM   #4
Chrit
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Good piece here...


Nice simple flow,esay to follow...
More of a poetic type piece here...
Good emotion and imagery brought forth...
A little played topic from what I've read...

Overall- Nice piece... good read
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Old 11-23-03, 11:25 AM   #5
Edicius
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Thnx

Up^
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Old 11-23-03, 11:32 AM   #6
X_JohnnyWattz_X
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basically what chrit said nice flow more of poetic peace
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Old 11-23-03, 11:33 AM   #7
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basically what chrit said nice flow more of poetic peice
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Old 11-23-03, 04:36 PM   #8
Edicius
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Its a song ..ok ?..u cnat have , ..to much complex is a personal song ..

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Old 11-23-03, 04:37 PM   #9
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iagree complexity can sutract from the meaning and emotion i think this came out fine as it is and i would love to read more stay up.
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Old 11-23-03, 04:41 PM   #10
Edicius
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= )

Thnx...look thats the diff between , ..writin a song, ..or try to impress peeps lol^

Thnx Wp

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Old 11-23-03, 05:01 PM   #11
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So just take my hand..and better give it in,
we start over again with a perfect begin.
But this is just a dream it will be never the same,
i fucked it all up , now im just filled with pain.
Still i will never stop, continue till i drop,
when theres is nothing left, with my head to the floor,


nice liking to concept nice work fav lines

keep spittin
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Old 11-23-03, 05:04 PM   #12
Edicius
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Up^ thnx
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Old 11-23-03, 05:19 PM   #13
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pretty good
emotion and feeling were the force behind this...
simple but simplicity is best for these types of pieces imo
and also its an audio piece
the bars were easy to read and the whole verse was easy to follow
your own take on a played topic.,,,but everyone has a different angle at this shit
cant really say there was any quotobale lines but it held my interest sufficoiently thruout which is what a piece shud do
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Old 11-23-03, 05:27 PM   #14
Edicius
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Oh..= ) thnx .. and jup it is an audio..

Up ^
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