Exterior walls strong as lead letting no insults be absorbed,
Tears existant only in her solitude, the nameless face,
Drone amongst the millions, singled out and furthurmore,
The pain slides from the surface, and leaves no visable trace.

The shell that often appears fragile, still ceases to crumble,
Before my eyes her pale skin thickens day by sinful day,
She smiles continuous, though her heart is bruised and painful,
Never raised her hand to banish unheard comments away.

So strong she walks on through the dull and dreary corridors,
Never stopping when the demons call her as she passes,
With one flicker of her amber eyes, hurt dwindles, nevermore,
I smile at her beyond the rim of rose tinted glasses.

Her demise draws ever nearer, still seeing the bottle as 'half full',
Her airs and graces never fade alike the spring in her gentle step,
Her will to learn amazes me how the bullies have no effect at all,
But would she cry, if the Lord hadn't deemed her Deaf ???

this was a good read i liked the floe and wordplay, a lot of emotion you seemed very into this piece....good drop

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

yeah...emotion was felt..i liked this piece mos deff

yes i agree very much emotion got this good
(()))))))))))))(((((((((((((()))))))))))(((((((((( (((()))))))))))(((((()

danke

Erstaunlicher es wäre, wenn Sie fließend auf deutsch waren. Ich wünsche, daß ich war.

Ahem... um... yeah.

I don't know about the emotio. I think those replys were scheiße and that I'd expected better.

A serious reply would've gone along the lines of: I was drawn into this witht he opening verse. It didn't really catch my eye as it sounded like every other poem I've read. And in fact, I admittivly only half-assed read it through until I got to the last line.

And that's when you came along with that twist ending. And something like that, well I had to re-read it with some serious intent.

And I was more than astonished. I was impressed. Especially with that rose colored glassess line. And the seeming metaphore about the demons.

Well... that's how a serious reply would go. But I'm not going to do a serious reply. I'm just going to say...

...wow. awesome peice. really feelin' it...

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.