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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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New to RB
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"The True"-NoxX
IP: E58D 53FD
concieve to recieve wat uve been decieved
ive seen wat you youve weaved from ur own two hands ur damands have caused the fall of many men that had the rights plans to full fill their dreams wat they have seen of the money the fame that shames the true game but true fame is spittin wat you feel and what u know not about the money the cars and the hoes cuz you know (pause) Hook x4 (the true artform of spittin rhymes) labels trappin tru thugs into flauntin there street dreams and its seems that dreams turn into to record sceams cuz even I will stick tru to wat I've been thru cant u see its not good to be wat u see but to be who u be see wat i mean or have u seen or been in the spot light not willin' ta fight for wat is right in your mind you no (pause) Hook x4 (the true artform of spittin rhymes) media completely changes preception and direction cuase an erution of fans with ur name on their hands the fame and the glamour gone in an hour after the show the fans are all gone no one singing the song the label left you blind sighted the fans are one sided they turned to the new next big thing on the block your conract is up your album is out and your left on the shelf cuz they didnt sell out so stick true to what you know (pause) Hook x4 (the true artform of spittin rhymes) devoted for wat just a couple bucks and some one night fucks the fans have all left you you have no dignity do you the streets have disowned you their one time hero dropped to a zero in the blink of an eye and you try and you try to make everything right and you put up a fight to defend wat you did but you've lost your respect for (pause) Hook x4 (the true artform of spittin rhymes) ...........i added more and i might record it but i dont have beat tell me if i should add more to make it longer or get rid of something ![]() |
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BANNED
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IP: 970D 9C87
its koo you just got spelling mistakes kool......its aiight im feelin it good idea...
6/10 |
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New to RB
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IP: E58D 53FD
IM BIZZLEN THIS SHIZLE TO GET RIZZLED
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Word.
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IP: 9C1E 2B43
You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback in or this will get closed/deleted..
But this was ok...your structure needs some work though, make the shorter lines bit longer and make all the lines around the same length so it is structure good....flow was ok, add multies and internals to support the flow....your vocab could be up'd though...just work on your stuff and keep elevating...keep at it. |
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Guest
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IP: 6F9E F23B
not bad wordplay...but structurally,could be a little better,flow was quite weak,but all in all,OKEY DOKEY
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...
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IP: 59AD 8C08
reply to three other open mics, and post links to your replies in this thread, or it gets deleted.
thanks.
__________________
Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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New to RB
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IP: 3C39 37DB
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Flyweight
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IP: 3789 6BDE
I'm feelin dis joint
6.5/10 I'm a tell u da truth...u need 2 elevate its iight tho but it could of been betta ur style reminds me of how I used 2 write peep my crew's joint http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96580
__________________
BEST OF YJ Holla at cha Boi Watch Me Eyez of a Young Nigga |
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Guest
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IP: 7D7A D12F
pretty dope, dont know what it all really means but its pretty dope. your rhymin caliber is definitely up there, maybe work on flow more.
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
structure need work..concept was kinda played, but some nice lines were used, ..keep droppin open mics and keep elevatin man ..keep it up
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Fuck you |
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New to RB
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IP: E58D 53FD
thanks for da feed back
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New to RB
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IP: E58D 53FD
Quote:
i just about labels changin you from repected the game of rhymin to becomin money hungry ![]() |
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