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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
12-05-03, 07:28 AM
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#1
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Guest
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New Guy:UK shit....Keystyle
IP: 6F9E F23B
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...3398#post963398
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...3399#post963399 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...3403#post963403 ________________________________________________ My Structural Gaze, Thru a path of purple haze Lifestyle's crazed, Another 2 weeks Til I get paid Poor as Fuck, No attention for the workin class Capitalist Systems, Tax man takin all my cash Picture me workin Prolaterat for the Bourgoise Workin To put food on the plate of my boss n me Cos he don't work hard, he just leaves workers scared Workin fingers to the bone, Workin Class life is hard When you look thru the fog, where does this leave us? Even lower than I was before, I pray To jesus Who I don't even believe in, but somethin gotta keep me breathin Cos workin in the mines with the dust has got my Lungs wheezin _______________________________________________ Just wrote this when I was pissed off...........Shit I sound like a Marxist warrior |
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12-05-03, 07:59 AM
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#2
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1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
i hear where ya coming from man........being from the pit yakka territory its the same here......also working class.....really related to this....now for some tips.....on the whole it was ok, but a simple scheme.....to elevate on this site you need to be using multis n metas n shit.....i think ya showing potential here....try what i said and ill be watching....keep reppin 'up north'.....if ya on aol IM me....Nickyakpak.....pZ....
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12-05-03, 08:03 AM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: 6F9E F23B
Cos he's from manchester im gonna respect da guy, it aint easy growin up in a society like ours, good verse keep it up rookie...
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12-05-03, 08:04 AM
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#4
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Guest
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IP: 6F9E F23B
UP NORTH!!!!!!!! YAGGA YA!!!!!!!!,I did use Multi'z ,see I kno this shit cos I rapped before I joined this site
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12-05-03, 08:12 AM
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#5
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1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
show me the multis then....maybe a couple of weak ones but...
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12-05-03, 01:38 PM
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#6
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Word.
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IP: 76B1 9A60
Yeah this was alright.....you structure was ok, it could use a little bit of work though, try to keep the lines around the same length....you had some multies, but like deva said a couple of weak ones, try to improve on that but it was still alright......overall this was alright..keep at it.
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12-05-03, 04:37 PM
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#7
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Guest
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IP: DF7B C8F7
good drop and nice structure. yet another rapper from manchester. good wordplay and vcab, could have been improved in parts by using more multi's but keep doin' your thing.
hit my rhyme http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96675 cheers. |
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12-05-03, 05:41 PM
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#8
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Middle Weight
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IP: 2DF8 44D6
This was alright....wasn't anything spectacular or mind-blowing....
seriously....sit down, think on a topic and write about it....stop doing these keystyles because they do get annoying when someone drops like 50 million keystyles in a few hours..... again, this was alright....but next time...actually think this shit out and not "key it up in 15" I garuntee the results will be much more satisfying..... |
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