whites or should i say da devils in disguise murder innocent lives/
only race that controls most of this world, dis shit ain no surprise/
look at the facts as i role da dice, yeah, snakeyes time to arise/
from the streets that swallow my peeps, i wont be nice/
they use to enslave brothers and sell them for a higher price/
no pay just gettin wipped as they rape da sistas, so sinista/
then wounded my ancestors knees in a trail of tears to sieze/
the whole western frontier, slowly the tribes dissappear/
like red ness in the eyes, dippin drops of visine to make em clear/
to understand they were da hunters, as we became da dear/
spreading fear and diseases just a mere diobolic blueprint/
get da hints from the generations that died while some survive/
to tell da tale da day da earth died, american genocide /
feelin sorry for a jew's life aint compared, cuz they are still here/
in da millions, making bank while da natives been walked da plank
so i don't give a fuck if da titanic sank, to da iceberg i give thanks/
fucking yanks love to imperailise other lands/
i may be a hypocrite cuz i live under their glance, i don't square dance, bitch i am a citizen cohn with tha whole world in my hands/

there was alot of hate here, and it seems ur jus using rap to divide the blacks and whites even more.

good read, structure was alright and flow was decent but fell off in places, vocab was ok, jus keep doin wat u do.

hit my rhyme
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96675

cheers

definately alot of hate for whites in this shit mostly based on the past before any of us where even alive. The topic felt pretty ignorant too me the flow was choppy and the vocab was practically non existant. A few pretty deep thoughts but overrall i wasn't feelin this at all

Though we may not share the same views, I appreciate the picture you painted. It felt as if brought back to a time when enslavery was a part of every day life, and the anger and hate felt towards these times. I hope to hear more from you -J

This was a decent piece
flow was there mos def
topic was pretty good
work on:
-multis
-metties
-vocab
1

the flow was ok in spots but sometimes not even there.
but understand that whites enslaved, people of african descent and natives long ago. people have to let that go.we are the first generation who all grew up together.to us racisim is almost gone.

don't dwell in the past thrive in the future.

I thought the subject was very deep and filled with hate. It did express alot of feelings felt about what has happened, and how it shaped the world, which was good. I think that things have changed from now to then. And I don't think that segrigation is the answer. The flow is really nice but the structure may need a little work. Just keep writing man, keep up the good work!

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted...

but this was ok i thought...your structure was alright, your last line was stretched but that could be fixed up though....flow in this was alright, could be a bit better cause it fell off at points though...vocab in this was ok, could be a bit better....overall this was alright...keep at it.