this a lil rhyme i rote about wats ben appenin in the news l8ly........................

yo ’we got him’, we gt the main man sadam, and we now found out hes a pussy widout his clan//
js goes 2 prove blood aint always thicker than water, i laugh in his face ‘ha ha’ bitch ass we caught ya//
u gt grassed up by ur family or ppl close 2 it, js goes 2 show peeps can do gd if they set ther mind to it//
wave the U.K n U.S flag united, those dumb asses didnt c our men cumin? they must b short sited//
listen man dnt fret, js accept wats cumin 2 u, fuck killin him man giv him a spark or 2//
then mayb a bullet, drug him up til hes doped, then proceed 2 hang him wiva scarf and rope//
death 2 tha tyrant i spit rhymes 2 expose this hoe, evil minded shot his teacher 2 get respect and dough//
now ima end this rhyme, fuck u man i delince ur apologises, so wile u rot ima enjoy ma christmas holidyz.............//

Awsome. Sadam is a fucker. The part about hanging him was good. The ending was good to. Being sarcastic about the Christmas Holidays. Try to come up with a better ending. Maybe talk about how he has to spend Christmas in a cell. That would be funny. Good drop.

Sup G?

Good Points: -

The rhyme had a good topic...i was feeling these lines: -

"blood aint always thicker than water" - good, but u should try to expand why u said that.

"now ima end this rhyme, fuck u man i delince ur apologises, so wile u rot ima enjoy ma christmas holidyz............." - That was your best line, funny shit!

Weakness: -

This lacked good wordplay and some of the words u used to rhyme were pathetic. For example: -

"drug him up til hes doped, then proceed 2 hang him wiva scarf and rope"

- This is a serious topic. I understand u want to put some humour in but "scarf and rope" - that isn't funny and it's not serious enough. You only put it in coz it rhymed.

There was also some very childish remarks like: -

"pussy without a clan"

- If 'pussy' is used, make sure it is used with a metaphor or something relating to a woman's clit. Words like 'pussy' and 'bitch arse' on their own are childish.

Your lines are too long, this makes your flow shit. You also need to imrove your spelling, ex. 'gd' - write 'good', otherwise it can get confused for 'god'.

Overall: 3/10.

Tash Shyne

i didnt like it
original topic
basic rhyming
stretched bars
lack of multi's
awful flow
poor wording

pz

__________________
W o r d P e r f e c t

^^^agree, it kinda just didnt make sense

js goes 2 prove blood aint always thicker than water, i laugh in his face ‘ha ha’ bitch ass we caught ya//

what do u mean blood is thicker than water, his family are dead

anyways im looking forward to his reply diss to you lol

Might i add, there is no point in dissing him if he aint gonna hear it, otherwise that spoils the diss. Thats like talking behind someones back.

Keep elavating

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

this failed to capture my attention

thats wordplay!