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01-14-04, 05:27 PM | #11 | |
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This piece was cool...the flow is straight i read this to beat and
it flowed just fine...your internal are very subtle...which isn't good or bad it't just rather different...one thing you should work on is the standard metaphors people use...strive for metaphors within metaphors<<not sure if you will get that, but you will soon enough the ending was nice, and was not abrupt like most pieces here are good drop...keep at it, one thing i didnt feel was emotion though i don't know why just didn't...when you can make people feel the emotion that is when you know you have reached a level of precise thought.... good job |
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