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Old 02-10-04, 05:28 AM   #16
Timeless
Banned: Spamming
 
Posts: 467
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Day...

An inverted orb.. Concave mirror reflecting the paleness of the land
An ever changing mass of colour...
... It is something that is never bland
good contrast
Ever swirling patterns.. Encrypted into the sky.. The cloud
Tatooed masses of vapour...
... Imprinted on the blue background
r u gay?? lol, nice line
Colour so pure.. Smoothness erupts at you from every direction
Such a deep and meaningful blue...
... It is truly perfection
nice close for the first part


Sunset...

The Sun collides with the horizon.. Releasing a magnificent array of beams
Such a sight is unthinkable...
... Not even inside peoples dreams
Really good line, props
Awe inspiring vision.. Such a glorious wonder of the world to behold
Amazing natural brilliance...
... Is something that never could be controlled
ok
Something so wonderful.. A sight that could easily be a mirage of the mind
The horizon and the Sun become as one...
... Light and Dark start become intertwined
shit hot line!!!!!!

Night...

A mingled mass.. Shining array of pin-holes in the canvas of the sky
Beautifully crafted by a master worksman...
... It could bring a tear to your eye
nice
Craning necks leer.. Dumb-struck faces all point upwards
Sharp beams of light pierce...
... And gleam like polished swords
ok, didnt really think upwards and swords worked tho
Affection from the sky.. A message passed down through the night
No matter how glum the face...
... The Sky can fill it with delight
nice end

Once again a nice concept on this spit, which i think you potrayed beutifully. good flow as alway and structure, nice use of words also. keep em cummin!! 9.5/10

PLEASE RETURN THE FAVOUR ON MY BATTLE UNDER MY SIG. DONT JUDGE ME ON HOW I BATTLE IN THIS BATTLE THO, DIDNT TRY HARD AT ALL, COZ I DIDNT NEED TO!!
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