RapVerse.com Community - Unfinished Buisness- What happened

07-09-02, 11:26 PM

#16

Kastaway

ILL VILLE King

Posts: 80

From: ILL VILLE, CT

IP:

Quote:

Originally posted by RhetoriX
The rhyme scheme for both of ya verses worked well, the internals and multies showed through and this gave you a flawless style and smooth rhythm... The wordplay was aight, some of the lines were hella overplayed though, you gotta come original and knowledgable when dropping wordplay, more metaphors woulda made this piece deeper... Vocab was aight, some places it was used well to its potential, it was working throughout and ya showed a good knowledge... The concept was iLL, thats what I was feeling the mos, something original

I concur...

"Dain’t realise id become shallow like a toddler’s swimming pool/"

I liked that line... just gave me a mental picture I guess...

"but then i think fuck it im 2 far gone & ive lost all those around me/
but still if i surive this life who are we/"

I also liked this bar it had a lot of emotion.... \

I think the two of you did a nice piece together, should try and do more, you seem to compliment each other nicely...
Keep spitin and elevatin...

...Peace...

__________________
Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm
History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....

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