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Old 09-17-04, 10:19 PM   #11
Master Minded
Banned: Cheating
 
Posts: 1
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~philosopher~
I feel bad merkin you after L.I. just fucked yo ass up/
Way you get beat, it's like you 'wear to much makeup'/
Didnt see this merkin comin, like I murdered you in stealth/
I dont like insultin you but 'For$aken' you do it to yourself/
You can ask you crew for 'salvation', but there laughing to/
And I'd say pray to 'god', but he has already 'Forsaken' you/
Tryin to battle an mc like myself, why'd you even bother/
Battle is lookin like starwars 'For$aken I am your father'/
My rhymes are like hot sauce, they leave you scared and 'shakin'/
Your physcick, saw ahead of time and named yourself For$aken/


A battle I had vs for$aken, but I changed some words and shit to make the strucuture better, can you plz show me how this verse coulda been better, then original battle is in the sig, and if I posted it the same way I did in here^^ It woulda been hella lot better, cuz it was sloppy in there
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