my bodys been torn from my soul my heart removed from my chest
my brother committed suicide because of my cruelty not a day to lay and rest
my 7 month year old daughter is invisible to me my lifes been set to roast
my worst enemies and soul snatchers are the ones i now wish were most close
my brothers memory bringing tears to my eyes from both happy and stinging pain
i brought him to his life's end for that i know think to myself in the rain
the chaos around me is found strangely soothing because my life is more melancholy
short stints spent with my daughter have no affect and cant make me jolly
i return to the rain my solvant asking questions of the falling drops
but the thugs i call freinds show no more comppasion to me then a fallen cop
why was i stuck in this sweltering ice this numbing heat?
is it only when my brother lies under this earth when i meet my defeat
the thing is i loved him more then life itself and yet he hated me and hated himself
he was trapped in my brutal and constant denial unable to realize what he felt
my brother wasnt gay as i called him he wasnt stupid or not special
what will my daughter think that i metaphorically gave my bro the gun he used to peel himself like a rose pedal?
im fucking heartless and fucking useless FUCKIT I AINT SHIT!
i cant intesify the font i write to show the hate i feel in my heart's pit
i turn from the light and helping hands cannot assist me
i want to turn back the clocks and not have to write on my brothers face that he's a sissy
should i kill myself am i bound for hell i figuritively murdered my best friend
WHY THE FUCK DID I TREAT HIM SOO BAD what twisted message did i send
was it supposed to be cool, this hell hole of a life is no longer has meaning
the reason for my hellworthy treatment is blurry and im no longer seeing
i wish my faults could melt my brother was the world to me
now my world is nonexistant and the blame is all on me...

feedback please...i had to let this out, 1hate.