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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
07-19-05, 03:42 AM
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#1
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~Break Bred or Play Dead~
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What is Prison Really Like?
IP:
Dear Reader, I would like to tell you all a little story. A long time ago as a young man of about eighteen or nineteen years old. I had a very unfortunate and horrifying experience where I was arrested and charged with a crime of which I had no knowledge of at all. I was only about 5’9”-125 lbs skinny as a rail and what you’d call very nice looking somewhat with delicate features. Anyway my first introduction to prison life was how good you could fight or if some booty bandit wanted to try to make you his girlfriend. And not even thinking or knowing anything about prison life at all I was given a bunk in this cell with seven other guys all older and ex-cons. As soon as the count was made and the guards had there walk by, all of the guys raped me repeatedly all night and everyday for about two weeks until the county jail released me on bond. Charges against me were eventually dismissed for nothing relating me to the crime of robbery. It was later found out to be someone’s idea of a joke. I never told anyone this and have tried to suppress it all my life or forget it ever happened. Sometimes I get depressed and have to take psychiatric medication to have me forget because I can go off the deep end and get filled with helpless rage or anger. I’ve even contemplated suicide several times, hopefully there are others out there who would like to sit down and let me explain how I feel and other things I’ve kept bottled up inside for all these years just begging to be released. Please write to me cause I need someone to write too and talk with at times about things that I’ve never even told my family about and I promise to write back. David Wade, #505226 Bill Clements Unit 9601 SPUR 591Amarillo, TX 79107 Most guys raped are guys for there first time locked up, between the ages 18-30 that looks young, not strong, looks lonely, scared. Guys watch these things. — M.F., Ohio, 9/6/96 A lot of guys don't say enything about what happens to them, because they got to live there. What if they told, what could happen to them . . . I know you think they should tell what happens to them. But until you put yourself in there shoes you don't know what you do. Some prisons are hard. Fights, killings, ect. everyday. One thing guys don't like is guys who tell on others. What are your chances if you told on someone? — M.F., Ohio, 9/6/96 I'm in protective custody have been since Feb of 95. My rape is known thru out the system as everyone know the person who did it likes to brag so its unsafe for me to be in population as now I'm a snitch, homo and my safety would be in jeopardy. — R.G., Delaware, 9/6/96 When a man gets raped nobody gives a damn. Even the officers laugh about it. I bet he's going to be walking with a limp ha ha ha. I've heard them. — J.G., Minnesota, 9/7/96 Most often the victom who reports a rape is again victomized by officials who write this inmate victom a disciplinary report of propaganda; officials do this in order to avoid law suits resulting from the rapes. — E.R., Iowa, 9/9/96 When a man finally gets his victim, he protects him from everyone else, buys him anything, the victim washes his clothes, his cell, etc. In return, the entire prison knows that this guy has a "BITCH" or "girl." This gives power to the aggressors ego. In here, the egos multiply a lot more than in society. Now I've seen this happen many many times. The response from the guards is "the strong survive," "who cares," or they join in on the teasing, tourmenting, etc. — R.L., New York, 9/9/96 I've seen inmates attacked by two or three men at a time and forced to the floor, while two or three hold him down, the fourth man slaps vaseline on his rectum and rapes him. I knew two men who hung themselves after this. — R.L., New York, 9/9/96 The more time a man has, the more respect he gets, the more he is feared, the more the guards ignore his misbehavior and let him do what he wants, including rape! The mentality of a lot of guards is that it's only a convicted felon screwing another, so who cares? — R.L., New York, 9/9/96 The DOC covers their actions under the guise of security and the state court wears blinders. — J.G., Florida, 9/9/96 I didn't want to tell on the inmates who raped me because I didn't want to be killed. If I had told on the inmates, They would have gotten me in another part of the Prison. Even Protective Custody Facility. — R.H., Utah, 9/10/96 Why prison sexual assault occurs: Part of it is revenge against what the non-white prisoners call, "The White Man," meaning authority and the justice system. A common comment is, "ya'll may run it out there, but this is our world!" More of it I think is the assaulters own insecurities and them trying to gain some respect in their peer group by showing that they "are a man." This subculture is concerned with appearances, and the more imposing an appearance, the more respect you command. Some of the guys I rode with didnt want any sex or $. They just wanted the status of having a "Kid." Naturally, I liked them best. — S.H., Texas, 9/10/96 I was "rented out" for sexual favors, and a lot of the guys who rented me are not rapists, or assaulted as children, or any other stereotypical model. They just wanted some sexual satisfaction, even though they knew I was not deriving pleasure from it, and was there only because I was forced to. . . . I was with the Valluco (Valley) crowd, so I was only passed around to them for free. D. Town Hispanics had to pay. They were charged $3 for a blow-job, $5 for anal sex. — S.H., Texas, 9/10/96 I had an officer tell me that "faggots like to suck dick, so why was I complaining." You and I realize that non-consensual sex is rape, regardless—a leap in thinking not possible for prison officials. — S.H., Texas, 9/10/96 Defendant J.M, a security officer with the rank of sargeant, came to investigate the series of latest allegations. Defendant J.M. refused to interview the inmate witnesses and told plaintiff that he was lying about being sexually abused. After plaintiff vehemently protested that he was being truthful, defendant J.M. made comments that plaintiff "must be gay" for "letting them make you suck dick." — S.H., Texas, 9/10/96 (legal papers) [When I was sent to prison,] I was just barely 18 years of age, about 90 pounds. I did nine years from March 1983 to November 1991. In that 9 years I was raped several times. I never told on anyone for it, but did ask the officer for protective custody. But I was just sent to another part of the prison. Than raped again. Sent to another part of the prison. Etc. This went on for 9 years. I didn't want to tell on the inmates who raped me because I didn't want to be killed. . . . I came back to prison in 1993. In 1994 I was raped again. I attempted suicide. . . . The doctors here in the prison say "quote" major depression multiple neurotic symptoms, marked by excessive fear, unrelenting worry and debilitating anxiety. Antisocial suicidal ideation, self-degradation, paranoia and hopelessness are characteristic, "unquote." — R.H., Utah, 9/10/96 [With coercive sex], one inmate will sidle up to another inmate and try to play on the inmate's emotions, as well as befriend him; this inmate usually being a "first-timer" who is quiet and reserved and without any established friends yet . . . . Eventually the weaker inmate is compelled to perform masturbation on the domineering inmate, or — at first — to pose nude before the domineering inmate while he masturbates. . . . Once the weaker inmate is hooked, the domineering inmate will share the details of his conquest with his buddies and then the weaker inmate finds himself dealing with more and more inmates vying for his services. By this time, the weaker inmate has had his self-esteem so lowered that he no longer cares and becomes a sexual substitute for whomever needs him. — P.S., Texas, 9/10/96 I found out how people earn respect in here, you have to beat someone or shank them. — J.G., Minnesota, 9/12/96 It's either rape or be raped and the racial tension doesn't help any. — W.M., Texas, 9/13/96 Officers can't do anything unless an inmate say's something. If an inmate does, not only is that a sure sign of weakness, but a weak snitch to boot. Not worthy of living. — W.M., Texas, 9/13/96 [You have to fight to be safe.] To give you an idea what I mean . . . I now have scar's where I've been gutted, under the right side of my chest below my heart, where my neck was cut open and under my left arm. That's not the many minor cuts and wound's can't include in this letter because of lack of times & space. People start to treat you right once you become deadly. — W.M., Texas, 9/13/96
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