Originally Posted by One Man Band

Man, I dont mean to offend you or anything, but your writing style is real flawed. Plot is generic, not much creativity in naming... Well there is, but the names arent very good. The way you use your words just doesnt sound very professional. I've had to mark 15 year old kid's narratives, and some were better than this.

I dont really know though cos I just read that first chapter.