its a good piece man, as voltaire pointed out some of it coulda worked better jus by a few switch ups, but its there. i thought it kinda lacked in the rhyming department a bit as well but itz got a decent message in it, good vocab, i couldnt flow all tha way thru myself but i could see sum of tha lines did flow well together...

quote:

that not all of us the same, but its love for the game that keeps us together.
and when one is feeling down, fool we all under the weather...
now remember, its love for something that brings armys to its knees.
we have the strenght and knowledge. all we gotta to is believe.



i think with sum more time spent u can definately do a good all round verse, not bad at all tho