(This joint is based on my life a few years ago. The struggles I was goin' through, and how I felt about life. Different story now, just thought y'all should see where I came from. Y'all should know that I AM FOR REAL.)

Dear Mom//

(*click one chamber*)

If you're reading this, that means i've done somthing tragic//
And I couldn't make my problems dissapear like magic//
Instead i'm passed sick//
So I guess that's why you're gettin' this letter//
I feel you lied, saying everything was gonna get better//
You haven't seen my weather//
See here I pop pills which makes everything a bit cloudy//
I don't eat, or drink anything, so that makes me a bit drowzy//
School's boring, so I sleep, but that doesn't make me lousy//
You know you put me down ma, really hurt my self esteem//
Mike and Scottie, Kobe and Shaq... We were supposed to be a team//
I mean, did you love me? If so why'd you call me stupid?//
Talk down to me all the time, and said i'll never be able to do shit//
Do you know how that feels coming from the women that gave me birth//
I questioned my integrity, and pondered my real worth and purpose on earth//
But don't think you are the only thing that put me on edge//
School troubles, this helped me gain confidence to get closer to this ledge//

Let's Begin.......
(*click 2 chambers*)

School's in session, but it ain't like i'm learnin' my lesson//
Teachers is pressing, but not about work, they're more concerned about the way i'm dressing//
My pants sag, so they automatically assume i'm a thug//
Anything goes wrong, they come to me like i'm a high school suge//
It's all good, so I guess now i'm the bad guy//
But yet i'm the one comin' home every other day with a black eye//
Yet they don't seem to care about shit, one teacher even saw it happen//
Students seen me gettin' jumped by 5 niggas, but just looked, laughing and clapping//
Then I look at my clothes, they aren't up to date//
But I keep my mouth shut, 'cuz I know we barely puttin' food on the plate//
Plus it's too late//
Kids wearing Jordan and South Pole//
I'm stuck wearing my cousin's shirts and my father's Kenneth Cole's//
What are my goals?//
I have none, already have the wrong reputation//
Plus teachers, principles, nor counselors wanna believe or face the problems that i'm facing//
So i'm patient//
But I don't mean to start any strife//
Life is beautiful, but I guess he wasn't looking at my life//
When I seen Chris layin' in his casket I saw a sign of peace//
And as his body layed relaxed, i saw a sign of relief//
I need that right now, that's why I hope you understand//
I promise ma, that guy you wanted me to be, I tried being that man//
But it ain't workin' so i'm gonna have to say goodbye//
Kiss Soula for me, and tell her I love her aight//
Everyone stay up aight, don't let me leaving get y'all down//
I'll still be around, matter of fact don't tell her i've passed, just tell her I left town//
Well the medicine's kicking in now, so I guess it's time for me to leave this world be//
Oh, and one more thing, while i'm gone, do me a favor... PRAY FOR ME//

(*click 3 chambers*) BOOM!