Too deep for 99% of ya'll... Guesses are welcome to as what this about...

Swimming in my ocean of doubts and insecurities/
Anchored to the bottom looking for puddles of purity/
Fish resemble past people, problems and predicaments/
Would swim away but apphrehended by lack of ligaments/
Holding onto a liferaft of alcohol and nicotine/
It's keeping me alive and killing my dream/
Who are you? I don't know me either/
Trying to stay awake, sniffin' the ether/
Masked people surround and drown me/
Hidden motivations while the unbound me/
Free at last, only to be chained up again/
Commotion in my ocean, lost another sick friend/
I would swim away but dive deeper in the depths/
Wish i brought a heater, so cold i can see my breath/
Hallucinations, seeing gas underwater, a dead father/
26 Christian Martyrs, 14 Angry daughters, 1 motionless otter/
Its my ocean, I came to love it, came to call it my home/
Mythological creatures, special features, 100 watt speakers/
Pyrex Beakers, Shiny Beepers, Fallen Leaders, Chome heaters/
All these contained within my tiny ocean, free will erosion/
Easily influenced, angered, endangered, enhances the promotion/
This ocean cannot be seen by friend, foe or even its creator/
Not graphed, not reachable by raft, nor any elevator/
May seem shallow but the water runs deep/
deprivation of sleep, slaughtering of the meek, movie of the week/
To think such a place even existed, to think such a person could be uplifted/
To see the power every hour constantly being shifted/
Exclusive, only accessible by the "gifted"/
Wondering geographically where this entity lies and what it beholds/
It cannot be sold, for it is mine to keep/
The ocean surrounds my brain, only accessible in sleep/

You guess it yet?