These unknown emotions run right thru me
Anger runs up my spine, guilt right thru ma body
I stand at the edge of life staring death head on
And for the first time in my life I actually feel I belong
Its funny that….how the slightest change feels so right
But im ready for anything now, take a step forward and take flight
Screams of onlookers fill my ears as I fall to the ground
I could have chosen many ways to die, could have been shot, could’ve drowned
But I chose to fly my way out, take a dive of a lifetime
Although it seems in gods eyes suicides the worst crime
So im condemned...alone...not welcomed into paradise
Im unwanted, unloved since the day I chose to die
I cried…as I stood at the gates,
Watched them close in upon me, heart filled up with hate
But its my fate
I watch ma life rewind back,
My mind chokes, and im seeing disturbing flashbacks
It seems all along that ive been oblivious to my surroundings
And now ive blown it all nothing left to cushion ma landing
As I watch my life pass before ma eyes something stands out so clearly
Im in a room, people are crying and music’s playing so sweetly
A man stands at the front, no one turns round as I walk towards him
And as I look around people shiver…and flinch
I see a bed…surrounded with flowers
And above my head the Son of God Jesus towers
I turn to face the crowd of people to realise that I know them
They are my relatives, friends and they all seem so down
My mums is crying so I put a hand on her shoulder…but it goes right thru
But then I realise where I am, and realise what I must do
One small tear rolls down my transparent cheeks
I take one last breath for nothing and begin to proceed
Towards the bed which I must lie forever since just now
And as I lay down on my back I know I will be fine…some how
The songs acted as lullaby’s sending me to sleep
The next thing that I remember seeing is a hole six feet deep
I watch them lay my bed down into the earth
And then I am suddenly in my bed, people looking at me from above
Feverish guilt runs right thru me, I was the one that caused this all
And then the last thing I remember...is witnessing the darkness begin to fall

this is the drop from ma battle with angelicsheshe

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