By "freestyle," I assume you mean that the process of writing in this particular piece was shortened in comparison to your others. . The idea itself seemed quite advanced, along with the characters that represented it; again, I assume that you "freestyled" the piece in a literary state-of-mind. Mechanics-wise, sure, you have posted much better pieces -- but, like Varentao said, it had just the right amount of everything. Without sudden influxes of incessant vocabulary, this piece was spiced with the perfect quantities of each literary device. Occasionally, the more talented writers seem to stumble across these pieces almost accidentally.

Regardless of your intentions, excellent piece.

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