this is my first rhyme ive written. tell me how i did, and ill check out yours.

Pen hits the paper,
hoes catching the vapors, making short skirts taper.
Rhymes and recitals are amazing,
Make you start grazing, on grass till your blazing.
Look, I can even use some puncuation,
I'm hot, PERIOD, inflictin' laserations.
My vocabulary spits automatically,
Systematically, like Hessians get blown up sparactically.
My lyrics bite you with a fevorous venom,
poison seeps through your denim, fill a notebook and then some.
Looks like Im the rap savior,
Spittin all kinds of flavors, shock your girl with a tazor.
Professors are trying hard to disect my syntax,
Its too complex, I have everyone guessing whats commin' next.
Your still reading this, Im surprised, your still alive,
You cannot derive, anything, except for it feels like 99 knives.
My lines are inspirable, like lines quoted from the Bible,
Your confused, you dont know, like my words are something tribal.
Rent my songs or take out a lease,
I keep telling you my rhymes score more points than Paul Pierce.
Girls, I'm a magician just like Harry Houdini,
I make a bitch switch from a one piece to a string bikini.
Hire me to spit at your next bridal shower,
I'll go home with four maidens to the second power.
I hit more home runs than Mark McGwire,
I'm telling you the truth, quit calling me a liar.
Your not right, I might as well call you Derek Jeter,
Because you swallow enough to fill a 3 liter.
Im ending this with my best rhyme,
Disect this sour lime, I'm and assasin killin' you with my words anytime