/\smart man

i aint gonna break it down.... my view is the same as most,,, i liked it... you stayed pretty consistant, tho the end was slightly better i thought... your scheme seemed quite smooth and the vocab was placed nicely... not too over used.... the topic was good.... see nthis sorta thing before, but most topics i have so.... but i thought you handled it well... and for a short piece ya got alot in it... yeah good drop....

Nice well put together piece. Flow was easy to follow, good internals, good vocabulary, Overall very good on the mechanics. The story was very nice, unique, but lost itself in a few places while getting to into its own emotions. Very strong storytelling nonetheless, and this came out to be an ill piece. Good Job.

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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?!

upp

Nice piece here man .. Seen it in CBL .. Thought it was dope then .. So it's dope now .. Dope take on the topic .. Nicely executed .. Well written .. A few flaws here and there .. And a few parts where U coulda added a few more multi's or watever .. But still a nice read ..

"Remembering the times...when "it was so hard to get her"
For worse or better...
..I never thought I would ever write a "dear john letter"

I thought those were the dopest lines in the piece .. Nice .. Endin' was good .. Wrapped up the piece good .. Overall a good drop .. Keep writin' man .. One

Nice Piece...
Really Deep Topic, And I Liked Your Flow And Wordplay...

heres the breakdown....its possible to overuse vocab...and you did
a few times the flow fell off due to a word having more syllabuls in pronunciation than in spelling

My(1) actions(2) depicted(3) as evil(2) and I regret(4) my vengenance(3)/15
Repentance?(3) I put my(3) conscience(2) through death(2) sentence(2)/12

to keep the flow i had to really break down 'sentence'...might have come off better as 'sentences' add the extra syllabul

blah blah blah

good drop, just dont OD the vocab..and keep a closer eye on the flow
practice: say it slow and over pronounce the word...you can catch it easier that way

no go dig and find me drop!

upp

very cryptic words man...dark i really enjoyed it.....a bit short but your words were nicely put...length was fine....nice read

-1-

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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

very nice, loved the topic, very original. nice vocab througout the whole peice. nice wordplay and nice flow. could have been a little bit longer tho
hit this up if you can
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111741

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Corrupted Visions

yup

you pieces of not goodness

Hmm.....
Good to see Emerge doin OM
Dope shit..........................
I WANNA SEE MORE DAMN IT

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look at my lines in the siggy

there ain't too much i can say about this piece

super madd niceness dunny... (we should collab)... i was feelin this

did sombody already up this in that 10 ten thing? i don't pay attention... but yo this was super mad nice... good story line... Creativaty, Originalty... everything was there with this one... never seen anything like this before... killer sick... Nice Good on this..

Caesar - On3

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