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03-17-05, 06:09 PM | #16 | |||||
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I think that is ridiculously pompus of you to say man. Can you specificaly define poetry? What is good, what is bad. You shouldn't just acknowledge the people who gave you props and discredit everyone who offers criticism like they are the stupidest people in the world. I know you are good and whatnot, but you can still get better. I mean who really wants to read your poem if all you do is call them idiots for not liking it. Even the dopest can still improve, you are no different man. I thought the whole purpose of boards like this were to elevate your writing not your ego. Quote:
this right here too is a bit inacurate. You can have emotion in text. Do books not have emotion? I think a good writer can mostly definitely display emotion through his/her words. While it may not be the same type of emotion you get by way of your voice, tone, etc. it is emotion none the less. now as for your piece.... i thought it was decent, nothing spectacular, just decent. Now dont take that the wrong way, but i can honestly say that i have seen better from you. In my opinion, it seemed uninspired and a bit plain. I would aslo have to agree with Bloomquist, that being there was no rhyme scheme you could have done so much more with it. It kind of felt like you were just describing things, rather than truly painting a picture. Work on showing rather than just telling. Anyone can just say things but it takes a good writer to really give the reader the feel of what you went through. I like the whole premise of it though, it's good to see you get these types of hardships out in a poem. Again though i'm sure there was much more emotion involved that just didnt shine through the way you portrayed it. Just my opinion though don't bite my head off or anything for stating it. Regardless this was a good effort, but i'm positive you could have done better. No offense. And in that quote you also said if people weren't poor that they wouldnt understand, i think again that's entirely untrue. It is the job of the writer to make them understand to feel like they can relate. Im sure most who read "night" werent in a concentration camp and people who read "native son" weren't slaves, but regardless they still made you feel for the story and appreciate the pain and tribulation the characters went through. You as a poet should be able to do the same thing through your writing. Anyways dont take any of this in a negative way, i'm just trying to provide some actual criticism rather than just say this was dope or good read. Keep writing man and stay grounded. Don't let success give you the impression you aren't open to criticism. -peace
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be what you speak, never speak on what you be -Sole Last edited by Adamant : 03-17-05 at 08:10 PM. |
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