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Old 05-06-05, 03:15 PM   #16
l i n e .
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I thought you had dope punchlines....
i really like the one where u called that guy a retard...
good flow and structure...

Rtf - http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=189490



























j.k... overall it was sexy. good use of imagery while at the same time being abit abstract and keeping you thinking... your vocab was good, big words but not too big that it made you look smarter than you are.. structure was alright, added dimension to your flow... nice drop
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Old 05-06-05, 10:38 PM   #17
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Thanks^Uppin for some more.
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Old 05-07-05, 03:33 PM   #18
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.......Uppin........
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Old 05-07-05, 05:11 PM   #19
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Nice imaginary, the emotion needs to be upp a little. The vocab on this piece was nice. Your sentence did create imaginary after line after line. Use meta'z in your verse, to make your imaginary more complex. Overall, nice verse.


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Old 05-08-05, 12:30 PM   #20
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Thanks uppin...
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Old 05-09-05, 05:49 PM   #21
p4ntzistheish
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonecollector
ROFL at the punchlines..
But yeah this was a good peice.. i was really feeling it
It had lots of emotions , and nice feeling ,
good imagery , and nice wordplay
you had nice vocab , and good worden of your bars
structure was alittle of but it was okay,
Overall this was a nice peice.. had lots of feeling
and emotions , nice imagery ..could have used alittle work
You had a nice concept ,Keep it up


what he said...sike nah I liked this piece...clever usage of words to twist your emtions in a structured flow of chaos lol...somethin like that lol....9/10
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