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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-30-05, 03:30 PM
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#16
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New to RV
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IP: 5947 53BA
Your vocabulary is used in a good way. Its not too advanced that it sacrifices flow, and the imagery is v. potent in this piece. A different approach to this topic is always hard, yet Ive read this topic on numerous occasions but this is one of the best I have read. Keep it up & return feed in my sig.
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05-31-05, 01:42 PM
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#17
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
^.........................^
upping All feed will be returned shortly. |
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06-02-05, 12:29 AM
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#18
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
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06-02-05, 09:47 PM
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#19
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
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06-02-05, 11:41 PM
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#20
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
word, this was definately different.....you seem to really have a handle on your vocab, which definately highlights this drop...it was used very effectively and really brought out strong emotion....imagery was great in the last paragraph.....but i do feel that at times, you really force the vocab, and takes alot away from the overall flow and enjoyment level to read.......none-the-less though, a very sophisticated drop and you really seem to have alot of talent, great knowledge too of language, cause you used some awesome descriptive words, definately keep up, this was a good piece, i'll probly read it again later.........nice story too, good original idea
 check out me and OSB's new piece, when you get the chance, if ya could be so kind, thanks
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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06-03-05, 02:32 PM
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#21
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1926
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IP: 0825 899A
I Really Liked This...
Very Original/Creative Piece, I've Never Seen It Done... Haha Even Had A Picture At The Top That Was A Nice Touch... You Had All The Content, Imagery, Emotion, Ect... Very Strong Piece Overall... My Only Complaint Is The Flow... Your Lines Seemed Really Long To Me... I Think Its Because You Didnt Use Internal Rhyming... So I Kinda Got Bored At Times Wich Sucked Cuz It Destracted Me From A Quality Piece... I Understand You Were Prolly Working More On Content Than Flow... But Maybe Next Just Throw Alittle More Into The Rhyming... And You Will Easily Be One Of The Best Writers Around Here... Stay Up Kid... .One. |
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06-06-05, 04:37 AM
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#22
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
^^
thanks for the feed. I only post written scriptures ont he net,cause all my music is for recording. All feed will be returned shortly. up^ |
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06-13-05, 03:52 AM
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#24
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
^^
wow that is the best feed a man could get. *sits there staring at this feed for another hour* |
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06-14-05, 08:18 PM
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#25
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
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02-25-06, 01:30 AM
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#26
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
ahhh, back when i used to at least make a half blind attempt at open mics
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02-26-06, 10:46 PM
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#27
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Light Weight
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IP: 61D6 C2FB
hey braw let me be the first to tel you the electric chair does hurt i mean just look at albert einstiens hair looks like he been through that enough but this shit was dope you have hella potential shit you should get back to me on aim or something and help me wit my structure and shit good piece though 20/10 above and beyond hommie hey take a look at my piece my lerics are twisted physically gets you lifted i can use some help on that 1 love bra
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