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06-04-05, 11:07 AM | #1 | ||||||
Banned: Biting
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Train Tracks
IP: 28AD 5545
Train Tracks.
A jaded location, faded but to the tracks I was enraptured Because if the image is distorted, sometimes the message isn’t captured A thin dew, laced the tracks, faced with that the rails offered as canvas With a mattress of support.. ..not taught, but naturally, nature understands this Unplanned bliss, a sensation of an untouched creation Over the tracks formed a crescent of vibrant green plantation A pure vacation, and even as an infant, so fickle and blind The night entwined shadows, with shapes to trickle my mind Refined as a recluse, to produce a place I could call my domain That place on a simple plain but far from simple and plain Was I insane?.. ..More obsessed, possessed with the feeling it was blessed And as the day past the night thought me it was ok to be depressed It relieves stress, this place offered hostility in cool breaths I use to flirt with the trains.. ..Testing God’s ability of death, but what’s left? Times changed people are deranged now, they weren’t to begin Nature is beautiful, humans are beautiful on the outside, but ugly within So I couldn’t hold it in, depressed I need to confess, it nearly killed me Cause the innocent ones in crime can be the ones left feeling guilty . . An ordinary night, no longer bright as the clouds swallowed the sky Coached in my favorite spot, viewing heaven but caught hell in my eye The air was dry, so I could focus on two outlines in the distance A girl forcing with resistance, but a man out powering with persistence In an instance, the man striked her with a blow no one could defend My tongue hit the back of my throat as my spine stood on end I couldn’t lend help, he kept hitting, testing his physical fitness As I was forced to pay attention to murder, as a silenced witness What’s sick is, my minds twisted and I can’t go back And my wife wants a reason why our kids can’t visit the train tracks The pain attacks me everyday, for that young girl a sit and pray And make a promise to my wife, our children ill never let astray. |
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06-04-05, 11:27 AM | #2 | ||||||
Banned: Biting
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IP: 0825 899A
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06-04-05, 11:27 AM | #3 | ||||||
Banned: Biting
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IP: 0825 899A
yo people atleast give me some feedback, cummmon ya'll
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06-04-05, 11:32 AM | #4 | |||
Just searching.
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IP: 0825 899A
Something tells me you probably haven't written this, due to the stupidity you're showing: "yoyoyo let get feed cummmmmoooon yall!' Which most poets shouldn't do, unless they're just lazy --- or truly 'ghetto poets', which is really an oxymoron.
But, good poem anyway. 8/10. Because I said so. |
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06-04-05, 11:37 AM | #5 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: D241 9E20
Quote:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^hes right |
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06-04-05, 11:44 AM | #6 | |||
Do Re Mi
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IP: F974 6254
yo kein witz.. i personally know ric b and i know for a fact that he did right this cuz he takes mad poetry shit in school but hes still gutta ya heard?? but yo ric this shit was locked down tight.. i can tell you realivin stress wit this one cuz ya got mad emotion.. 8/10 .. peAce1
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crhyme sindicate . . . . . |
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06-05-05, 07:10 AM | #7 | ||||
To The Ground...
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IP: 249A 795B
Probably because he DIDNT write it...
Judge or "K" from RB did.. http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=199174 ^thats the original.
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Mondo Thugs.
Merciless Cult. |
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06-05-05, 09:22 AM | #8 | |||
Do Re Mi
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IP: F974 6254
damn ric, what the fuck is this bullshit?? thanks for that proof hopes
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crhyme sindicate . . . . . |
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06-05-05, 09:24 AM | #9 | |||
Do Re Mi
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IP: F974 6254
wait a min. mayne that shit was posted like a day ago, ric posted his at the same time.... so whos realy bitin ??
__________________
crhyme sindicate . . . . . |
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06-05-05, 09:34 AM | #10 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
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IP: 5BEF 4246
^^ You dont see the post that K made saying he will be banned.?.........
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
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06-05-05, 09:37 AM | #11 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: ECB3 36A0
Who says he didnt write it? Got ne proof? I'm an all around writer and I liv in an English council estate, ne1 can do nefin if they got the brains, the xperience and the inspiriation.
Neway I liked it not 2 lyrical but was deep and lyrical enuf 4 me. Used multis well and ur flow was almost consistant throughout. Saw a cuple of times where it was a bit off. eg. "..More obsessed, possessed with the feeling it was blessed And as the day past the night thought me it was ok to be depressed" but keep it up it was nice. Peace
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~Wrekless You know the rappers these days that snap then breeze ways// In the opposite direction of the gat that he says// He'll cap, if you aint on in don't say you are// before someone engraves a scar on your inflated arse// Site Record- Wins:0 Losses:0 |
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06-05-05, 10:07 AM | #12 | |||
Just searching.
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IP: 0825 899A
The proof is in the links, the time dropped, and since this K has 12,000 posts, he's probably less likely to bite from someone with 33, because 1. it'd be a waste if he got banned for it, and 2. we can look at his other drops and see if they have the same structure and whatnot.
Biting poetry for god's sake...how are you ever going to get better if you're stealing from the person infront of you[and getting banned]? |
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06-05-05, 10:33 AM | #13 | |||
Do Re Mi
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IP: F974 6254
thats cool, hate on him for posts? its a new name for him, hes been on here for longer than i have... im takin rics side on this shit.. yall think cuz ya vets ya can walk ova newbs, not happenin.
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crhyme sindicate . . . . . |
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06-05-05, 10:44 AM | #14 | |||
Just searching.
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IP: 0825 899A
You're taking his side when the evidence is overwhelming?
If he's been here longer, and we don't know his alias, then he can just get back on that or make a new one. If he has that few posts, he could get them back in no time. Siding with him because he's your friend is a stupid move. |
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06-05-05, 10:48 AM | #15 | |||
Do Re Mi
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IP: F974 6254
yo man, i dont care bout him gettin a new alias, i know he wrote it... its a matter of respect, not fuckin names or posts, hes jus a victim of circumstance.
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crhyme sindicate . . . . . |
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