Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
06-21-05, 09:44 PM | #1 | |||
Banned: Biting
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*death Of A Friendship, A Funeral For Love!*
IP: 0086 7B47
Engrossed with her beauty, And depth of her eyes, The warmth of her kisses, Her moans and her sighs. The I love yous she gave me. How she felt in my arms. Her feminine voice, And how she flaunted her charms. The touch of her hands, And the frost in her hair. The most beautiful creation, With clothes on or bare. All this was mine, But she stole it away. There is no more us. 'Twas our funeral today! |
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06-22-05, 01:27 AM | #2 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 2D4B F56C
damn this was mos definitely ill bra
fuck the ending topped it off for me... flow was on point, imagery and emotion was there man this was a really nice piece...10/10 in my eyes
__________________
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06-22-05, 07:06 AM | #3 | ||||
Get me?
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IP: A973 01C4
I really felt this..
Your first stanza set everything up & drew me into the poem more.. I mean the first two stanzas had great emotion portrayed with simple vocabulary.. Which to me, made it very powerful.. I like the whole 2 stories to this piece, if I'm right.. Well thats how I thought of it as; & the ending.. Was tight, nice twist.. Keep dropping.. |
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06-22-05, 08:36 AM | #4 | ||||
Light Weight
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IP: 0825 899A
Great drop as usual. You've got to be one of the most consistent poets on this site. Everything you drop is and 8 or better. I was feelin this piece. Emotion was there, flow, structure...just R.A.W...9/10
RTF on one of the poems in tha sig |
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06-22-05, 04:38 PM | #5 | |||
Banned: Biting
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IP: 0086 7B47
thanks ya'll, yall r very supportive and im happy to have fans of me on this site, i will write back on all of yalls post. thanks...uppin for more.
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06-22-05, 05:45 PM | #6 | |||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 8A1A D0A3
hot shit dawg, very nice
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06-22-05, 05:50 PM | #7 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 4500 6328
Yea I'm feelin that piece, you put the emotion into that and it paid off. The ending was great. Well written piece.
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06-22-05, 06:29 PM | #8 | |||
Banned: Biting
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IP: 0086 7B47
thanks. upin for more.
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