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Old 07-07-05, 10:40 AM   #1
Sematic
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"They"

IP: 79A9 7BA4

(they) suppress the unequal… (they) arrest are young people
(they) even caused the mess at ground zero
(they) discredit our crowned heros..replace them with theirs
our prosperity has them facing their fears
spent nights contemplating.. but I’m stuck like constipation
Cant find (they) and I’ve searched the fucking nation
Testing responses..hoping to get a synopsis
Preach insight instead of bout a vet with the options
Investigated into racists…accused weathered faces
labeled all the rich greedy cuz I never made it
Hated activist.. turned around and hated passives
Rebel without a cause trying to seem passionate
Had to switch, sorry I cant appease you fiends
Chasing the fabricated it was all dreams on weed
seriously worried.. on some Van Gundy conspiracy theory
ignorance of the world sent me on a fantasy journey



http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=198586
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=198419
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Old 07-07-05, 08:09 PM   #2
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uppin for some feedback
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Old 07-07-05, 08:55 PM   #3
Gongshow.
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Ok, this was structured good and had good flow, multis and vocab. I felt like you pulled a title out of your ass and tried to write about though, and then you started to, putting ("they") all over the place... But then you realized that was too hard and got bored with it and just took it from there lol. Overall I thought this would have been better if you just took your time with it or got rid of the "they" idea and just preached your pure thoughts rather than trying to make it into a song-like drop. I thought there was some good emotion, and imagery could have been improved by just speaking your mind. Keep it up.

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...266#post2273266
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Old 07-07-05, 09:10 PM   #4
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yeah thats some good feedback lol cuz i decided not to do an audio with this because i thought the they was kinda forced.
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Old 07-08-05, 09:43 PM   #5
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uppin for some looks
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