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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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New to RV
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"They"
IP: 79A9 7BA4
(they) suppress the unequal… (they) arrest are young people
(they) even caused the mess at ground zero (they) discredit our crowned heros..replace them with theirs our prosperity has them facing their fears spent nights contemplating.. but I’m stuck like constipation Cant find (they) and I’ve searched the fucking nation Testing responses..hoping to get a synopsis Preach insight instead of bout a vet with the options Investigated into racists…accused weathered faces labeled all the rich greedy cuz I never made it Hated activist.. turned around and hated passives Rebel without a cause trying to seem passionate Had to switch, sorry I cant appease you fiends Chasing the fabricated it was all dreams on weed seriously worried.. on some Van Gundy conspiracy theory ignorance of the world sent me on a fantasy journey http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=198586 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=198419 |
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New to RV
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IP: 79A9 7BA4
uppin for some feedback
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Flyweight
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IP: 3E65 4A0F
Ok, this was structured good and had good flow, multis and vocab. I felt like you pulled a title out of your ass and tried to write about though, and then you started to, putting ("they") all over the place... But then you realized that was too hard and got bored with it and just took it from there lol. Overall I thought this would have been better if you just took your time with it or got rid of the "they" idea and just preached your pure thoughts rather than trying to make it into a song-like drop. I thought there was some good emotion, and imagery could have been improved by just speaking your mind. Keep it up.
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...266#post2273266
__________________
Spilled Inc. ![]() -I write my dreams on a foggy window and watch them slowly fade away.-
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New to RV
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IP: 79A9 7BA4
yeah thats some good feedback lol cuz i decided not to do an audio with this because i thought the they was kinda forced.
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New to RV
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IP: A208 82C5
uppin for some looks
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