My sky's grey.....its just another cold day
Blood stainin my pave where another body lays
Slugs embedded in my walls from the last gun to blaze
Soil-less graves, made up of multiple grey shades
In addition to winoes, drinkin to death on my streets
And another dies every time my stone heart beats
Ive witnessed every single man dealt attrocity
Flesh maimed with slugs travellin at high velocities
I've seen countless examples of human forms of evil
Happenin over n over again like a sequel
Hell I've witnessed rape and people murderin each other
Gettin people hooked on crack, killin sisters n brothers
Cops beatin people to within an inch of they life
Jus because the pigments in they epidermis ain't white
I've seen major jealousy breedin from the wealth
I've watched while i've seen these cats killin with stealth
Jus to rob another person for the money in their pocket
Stampin people til bones dislocate from their sockets
And go beyond the stage of possible reconstruction
When they gonna learn they feedin into they destruction?
I've seen outsiders find themselves on my streets
And end up havin to make their way home with bare feet
Its kinda funny goverment tryna solve world poverty

Yet i see no one round here its like they just forgotten me...

tight shit..................................

yeh thanx. uppin this one

uppin this.......

liked this, real good read, good use of emotion and vocab, flow and structure were good also, keep it up

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nice piece bro. The flow was good and the rhyming, although not amazing, still good and above average lines. Your topic held strong, but at points seemed to go off. Try to hold it in and keep the wording to were you only describe that one message you tryin to get across to others. The Structure was good and i enjoyed this, keep 'em comin and i'll keep givin' ya' feed. Return the favor to the O.M.'s in my sig...

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Open Mics

this was a great piece. nice finisher, topped it off with an exclamation mark.

your best lines were:

Cops beatin people to within an inch of they life
Jus because the pigments in they epidermis ain't white

this had a great flow and rhyme scheme with nice vocab. there was some pretty deep emotion poured into it, showing how pissed off you are with society.. i thought you could have made a slight improvement on imagery by using more descriptive words throughout the piece. other than that it was solid, check out

"My mirror Image"

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Great piece, felt like i was there but then came back 2 reality, really enjoyed it, 9.9/10

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Sig Provided by: Christianite

3 nails + 1 cross = 4given
No matter how good you are there's always someone better.
I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be.

thanks for the feedback people.
by the way this was gonna be my verse in a topical battle i was called out to but the person in question never set it up in the end...

yo diz wuz hot, vocab wuz real strong, flow wuz nyce & u used ur good vocab 2 good effect, real nyce wording ov each bar, it wuz deep also...meaningful & shyt, i enjoyed diz, it wuz sumthin street yet emotional ....kind ov lyke wat nas wuld do, nyce drop dawg

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yo homie you a true solja playa word up homie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!keep it real and keep it comin homie...nice vocab,nice lines and nice endin homie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1peace

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ok thanks mayn.