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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-09-05, 12:17 PM
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#1
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Middle Weight
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Flaws of Street Life
IP: CF74 5D3A
Flaws of Street Life
Got bold ice and roll dice in a dimension of danger, my gun Give attention to a stranger this cats wants to cheat I’m in anger dun Wimp can’t escape attempt to debate over the cash I won Not buying it, pay up! Shot my glock and collected the green back // Attack mean like vaccine do bacteria with facts superior and exact Attend to the sick with a blend very thick healing the whack Revealing crack addicts, which later start stealing should back track The main attraction is the lame faction of drug dealers that lack Common sense just a phenomenon dense to the public packed In a sack, some know pain with cocaine in their vein its an act Of suicide // This mess is proof I attest the truth bless with roof Over my head, tax is rude no relaxed attitude turn loose My check to the IRS, cry in sorrow no less hell my goose Is cooked // The stress is strong but like JAY-Z best known for rhyming Smart and climbing charts staying on top of the game declining Not good get props in the hood buff my stuff keep it shining Like polished brass I’ll abolish a ass in my path so move over // My affair true like a hairdo girl can’t compare you to another |
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08-09-05, 12:55 PM
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#2
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Middle Weight
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IP: CF74 5D3A
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08-09-05, 01:11 PM
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#3
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 3240 794D
Yo man this had good concept good flow ...but ur structure waS SORTA off had little vocab man but u can up on that......i liked this a lot 8.5/10 nice multis and such....RTF on my sig links peace
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08-09-05, 02:21 PM
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#4
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Middle Weight
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IP: CF74 5D3A
WOW LTAZ if you understood that then you're not rap illiterate just needed to pen your mind a little anyway thanks for the response
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08-09-05, 03:01 PM
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#5
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 3240 794D
no problem man keep postin keep elevatin but dont forget to RTF lol
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08-09-05, 06:04 PM
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#6
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Middle Weight
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IP: CF74 5D3A
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08-09-05, 09:08 PM
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#7
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Classic
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
this was decent the vocab need to be upped the imargery wasnt great but it was there in a way you also lacked emotion everyone needs emotion in a song or w/e the structure was awful fix that and you should be ok
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08-10-05, 05:52 AM
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#8
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Middle Weight
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IP: CF74 5D3A
Thanks For The Props And Critiquee For Real Yall
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08-11-05, 07:52 AM
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#9
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Middle Weight
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IP: CF74 5D3A
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08-11-05, 09:59 AM
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#10
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Middle Weight
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IP: 8A05 210E
yeah i agree wit taz u got sum good vocab but ur structure was off & jus didn't flow dat well but continue 2 work on it get a lil mo creative wit ya pieces & guarantee u'll betta results fa sho
rtf: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204043
__________________
 Choose words carefully when you address me
You ain't gotta like me, but you're gonna respect me (Or else) or else you get wet like a jigsknee Take ten of these and live, that'll impress me Last edited by Payn : 08-11-05 at 11:10 AM. |
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