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Old 09-15-05, 05:23 PM   #16
Paranoid
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Posts: 3,248
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From: Sask, Canada
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Audio Record: 2-1
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your stucture is pretty good, rhyme scheme could be flipped and twisted more. flow could use more work on some lines but most of the time it stayed consistant. imagery was pretty good i'd say, emotion could be upped a little more. creativty is not bad, and the hook wasn't that great a little to simple to me, when your doin a hook cuz i can till this is gonna be a audio i think you should fix the flow and for the hook um try and make it more poetical to compare with your verses, make them relate more and usually when your doin a lyrical track the hook if a lot better then that.

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can ya rtf on my new collab wit sinnister links soon to be in the sig.

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