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10-03-05, 07:32 PM | #1 | ||||
pain is weakness leaving the body
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Diary of Hip-Hop
IP: EE58 AEAE
u can never kill me.
I am the motion of the mighty river, I have taken, I am the giver, made a sir of a nigger, I am rhythm and rhyme, I keep u dancin', took some thugz lives away and put others in mansions, I have no race but the one to the top, I answer to no preacher, politician, or cop, I am the vision of your fore fathers and the dream of your youth, I'm on your block, on your t.v., and in a booth, I spread hate, love, truth, and lie, I bring down a people, but sometimes I help to open their eyez, I've been broke, I've also had a waiter on call, I am life and have lived it, whether "Biggie" or "Small", I'm garbage to some, and to some I'm music, I'm genius, and the ability to use it, I'm beef on the streets, both a riff and a crack, but when I'm truly understood you'll see I'm bigger than that. -Chip link #1 link #2 just revivin a classic piece........... this time i have links...........
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"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..." -Konchance my poetry: untitled |
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10-09-05, 05:33 PM | #2 | ||||
Light Weight
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IP: 5285 DC82
This isnt very good. I dont like the biggie smalls line. its wack.
overall this isnt a solid poem.
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DIRTY RECORDS
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10-10-05, 06:00 AM | #3 | ||||
pain is weakness leaving the body
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IP: EE58 AEAE
^very weak feed........... this was one of my first pieces, i'm lookin for real feed, to see how far i've elevated, i'll agree that was a weak rhyme (Biggie Smalls) from a rap standpoint..... but this has got to be the weakest feed anyone has ever left me........ i hope u didn't use this as a link.....
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"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..." -Konchance my poetry: untitled |
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10-10-05, 01:50 PM | #4 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: 11AF 50EC
lol dat is true, uhm well ive read betta from u; well atleast ya first piece was a lil doper than dis; but overall dis was a pretty decent joint...uhm i dunno wat else to say 'cept up ya shit............1
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10-11-05, 12:20 PM | #5 | |||||
Cuz I'm Old Skool Baby
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IP: 042E 9E4C
well if ur looking for poetic criticism i cant really do that, it seems more like a motivational spoken word thing than it does a literary piece of work. I liked the flow, i liked it overall(maybe cept the biggie smalls line) but i like this kind of rhythmic, motivational, simple style, i think its very effective.
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This is my sig. what? I'm white so u KNOW i can't rap =) I will definitely RTF if u leave a link, thanks! |
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10-11-05, 04:11 PM | #6 | ||||
pain is weakness leaving the body
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IP: EE58 AEAE
thanx..... this = my first piece..... no more feed required, thanx.... (i wrote this a while ago)
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"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..." -Konchance my poetry: untitled |
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10-11-05, 04:22 PM | #7 | |||||
Cuz I'm Old Skool Baby
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IP: 042E 9E4C
ok well could u RTF plz? link in sig, gettin mad slept on
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This is my sig. what? I'm white so u KNOW i can't rap =) I will definitely RTF if u leave a link, thanks! |
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10-18-05, 10:31 AM | #8 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: A604 EE64
well if ur looking for poetic criticism i cant really do that, it seems more like a motivational spoken word thing than it does a literary piece of work. I liked the flow, i liked it overall(maybe cept the biggie smalls line) but i like this kind of rhythmic, motivational, simple style, i think its very effective.
^^^^word
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