When there’s trouble this kid is always in the middle
Not intentionally and by nights he soaks his pillow
With the tears he’s tasting his importance was so little
Solving his life problems but was twisted like a riddle
He’s only 15 and it seems he’s lived half of his life
Nearly killed twice for merely trying to do what’s right
So he begins to write and putting the truth in every line
Wording was misery and implication was “I’m not fine”
Struggles to write but continues to intensify the rhyme
How to survive he figures that he will never simplify
Life is a challenge that he didn’t understand why
People think that everything can be solved with a lie
He learned how to survive when starting without a sign
Choices came like a buffet but struggled to decide
Goes back out and now he is hit and given damage
But he knows they won’t fuck with the hidden image
He’d rather be hated for being him than being loved
For what he’s not even if it comes with kicks and shoves


This story is actually about me and what I went through and now that people know I'm real I get the exact opposite of what I got in this topical. I hope ya'll enjoy it cuz I worked real hard.

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heres the link.
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2493159

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"When there’s trouble this kid is always in the middle
Not intentionally and by nights he soaks his pillow"
^^^^ Deep opener

"So he begins to write and putting the truth in every line
Wording was misery and implication was “I’m not fine”"
^^^^My Favorite

Loved this piece... 10/10

seems like ou know about the Flow n structure n vocab shit

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Bizzacckkk

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i like how you had this, the ideal of the piece....had a good feeling to it, thought the rhyme scheme was fairly simple and basic, coulda been a little better, IMO....but you obviously can write, just expand a little more, go into more depth...cause some people on this site, like ready intricate, detailed thought expressions....word, keep up

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The Establishment
I am the Batman.

simple rhyme scheme.. but it was personal and had some good lines. Like the buffet line. keep droppin

coo. I got you on that link malicious.

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http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2494669
theres the second link.

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uppin this oM.......

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uppin once again...

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uppin one more time.

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dope peice man, thaught it was another emo track but no, pretty realistick man, nice structure and the vocab was awsome, flow is awsome too, get a mic fucker , it could be dope im telling you, i dont really have nothing to say about this, and what makes the track doper is that im listen to : 3 side of a story by joe budden, so its about the same context you know, dope track man

rtf at : nobody loves me

NOT BAD BU TYO COULD'VE RHYMED MORE AND DROPPPED A COULPES OF HIT LINES IN THERE ALSO LIKE THIS

even when trouble arrive this work double to surve cries at night and dies at the sight of tears leaking on his pillow being a weeping follow never solved anything

OK BUT NICE PIECE AND NICE IMAGETRY KEEP UP THE KGOOD WORK AND DON'T FORGET THEM RHYMES HOMEY I LEFTED AN EXAMPLE FOR REAL

yeah they dope but its actually normal for me to wanna do it my own way. I write and I'm happy with the way but thanx for the tips. and I got you both on those OM's.

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