|
|
|
|
| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-12-06, 02:18 AM
|
#1
|
|||
|
New to RV
|
Mr. King.
IP: 2029 97B3
 I can’t sleep knowing he died for me, raucous fantasy’s leaving my dreams disturbed His presence was a synonym of immortal, his words left the definition of freedom superb An angelic leader, brought slight smirks, and keen smiles to the most malicious individuals His thoughts were metaphysical, his quotes are with us for eternity, part of my evening ritual An audacious mentality, having to be second best under the rest but believing its not finished Beat down, soul tarnished, while the remaining of your family is preparing to be diminished Upon my exhausted thinking patterns of your elegance, I still focus on the takeover of poverty You still have done us malign, that of transforming our empty pockets into actions of robbery None of us have ever related, we have a free country, while you were actually being dictated All this is over the beautiful America, when you didn’t even get to utilize what you created :: When did you think, “I will petition with my race?” and decide to stroll to work for weeks Was this an astute conclusion, did you think it would work, or was this an atrocious technique? :: Were you horrified and intense, when they caused affliction on your home, or were you placid? While they were hollering heinous names, and providing your only chamber with a lethal acid :: All these are pretty common questions that a typical adolescent would imply to A stellar anatomy Which is amazingly awkward when you’re the individual who caused all this ruckus and debris http://community.rapverse.com/showp...84&postcount=10 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2654028 Last edited by Ion W. Yuu : 02-12-06 at 02:48 PM. |
|||
|
|
02-12-06, 03:50 AM
|
#2
|
|||||||
|
Middle Weight
|
IP: 903F 26CB
hmmm noble cause I guess... like the way you structured this under the pic... vocab looked nice... but maybe it's because was listening to something else when I read this... but it just doesn't seem to flow evenly... and the content didn't really grab me... Just wasn't that impressed... sorry... but keep doing what you do best... 1
__________________
\....../ \..../ \../ A.I. Spilled Inc.   |
|||||||
  
|
|
|
02-12-06, 12:30 PM
|
#3
|
||||
|
I Chill in Asylums
|
IP: 9133 A552
I liked this, it was nice. I believe u handled the topic well, not many people write something like this. Ur vocab was really nice and the structure i liked to especially since it is under a pic. The content was ok, i think u could of given more detail. The flow was a little bit off in my opinion. Maybe u could shorten ur lines a little bit and might work better. But good drop overall, keep it man. Please rtf on one of the links in my sig, thanks. Peace.
|
||||
|
|
|
|
02-12-06, 02:30 PM
|
#4
|
|||
|
New to RV
|
IP: 2029 97B3
****Updated****
|
|||
|
|
|
02-12-06, 02:48 PM
|
#5
|
|||
|
New to RV
|
IP: 2029 97B3
****Updated****
|
|||
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
