The piece in itself wasnt that bad and I liked the concept and the idea and everything... But there were alot of places to me where I thought if things were just worded or phrased differently they could have been alot stronger and more effective. Also, I didn't really like the flow, how it paused all the time with the coma's just kind of slowed everything down to a boring pace for me when I felt this should be a quick sort of erratic and emotional read you know? But overall I think I didnt like the piece, it just had a few things that I felt could have been cleaner.