You always come with an amazing writing style in every poem you drop, you have a very original style and technique that you've pretty much mastered, and it keeps getting better. Sometimes your poems are hit or miss though, but when they miss, it's only by a bit, and when they hit, it's always a bullseye, so to speak. This one is definatly a bullseye. The way everything is presented really draws the reader in, and it provokes thoughts from the reader, and causes him to think, wich is something all great poems should do. It has impact on the reader, and it should make most people read it a second time. You have a very complex way of writing, and I liked the structure. It really ended strong, that was one of the strongest endings i've seen in a poem.

"Try and make it over
That top crossbar.
If you can't, don't worry,
Once daddy finishes
His meeting with Jack
And hugging mommy,
He'll come out and push
You over the stars.

Ya, one day, over the stars...
I hear it's beautiful there."

Definatly my favorite section of the poem. Also, the beauty of this poem is how deceptive it is, it's written simple, yet it's very complex. I love that aspect of it.

Anyways, i'm doing my best here cuz i'm not that good at giving criticism, but i'm just gonna tell you, this is def' one of the best poems I read in a while.

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