it was definately vivid, seemed like the structure made it a quick read, but i guess there's nothing wrong with reading it again....like i said, very depictive, and descriptive, which is really what you want to accomplish, to capture, and it was pretty good....the only thing i felt didn't work, was your structure with the enhanced vocab, it made it feel like the thoughts were shortened....just me though

all-in-all, it was very good though, keep up

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