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01-04-07, 01:07 AM | #1 | ||||
Flyweight
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The Joker's Dismay
IP: D0B5 03E3
The door slams shut…
He crumples and weeps Yells to the darkness but Barely mumbles his speech ‘cause The tongue was cut from his cheek. He’s been there for a week and He still refuses to eat. There’s blood on the meat and He’s not keen on the taste of his teeth. Feces and vomit envelop the walls.
The cracks in the concrete resemble his skull. He’s wishing the cell were padded He’s had it. All he hears are his fears screaming. His tears are pleading. But at least they’re not staining- ‘Cause his eardrums are bleeding All over his pleats and… …He hasn’t shown up for work all week! “I want to play a game.”
High stakes, he’s aces high His wife left ‘cause he left their life On a bluffed bet! But it’s not that simple, yet ‘Cause divorce isn’t intercourse… …Their son is seein’ it! And he’s feelin’ it, not pleasure but pain His parents are foldin’ Over a fuckin’ Hold ‘Em game! The door creeps open… His wife gets dragged in, unconscious and Bleeding profusely Starvation has set in but He’s filled with adrenalin-induced energy A medical kit is quickly thrown to her side Along with a flashlight An axe? And the will to keep her alive… He scrambles and hacks but The chain on his leg refuses to crack! He hacks and he hacks but
Nothing will work! His wife is starting to look Like a cherry desert! Breathing heavily he takes off his shirt Wraps his leg up and prepares for the worst He hacks and he screams! The agony is obscene but His poker face remains. He chops through the tibia Only the fibia’s left… And it knows better then to call his bet. Diamonds, Clubs, Spades, and Hearts His rotting flesh combined With the putrid scent Of vomit breath but In the silhouette of death He scrambles for what he has left. His nails grind as he crawls The floor is too rough But the best riches of all lie Throughout the diamond bluffs! He stretches a sore limb
With a whim and a groan Grasps the first-aid kit But wait! It’s only holding a note! He reads feverishly before
He furiously chucks it away “IM SORRY!!” he screams Through the gaps in his teeth… . . . And here the King and Queen lay To the Joker’s dismay… The day had come where The two make a pair, Defeating the aces-high. http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3131217 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3131225
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get attached to a rolling stone and you're libel to get crushed.. Last edited by Pious : 01-04-07 at 12:43 PM. |
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01-05-07, 09:43 PM | #2 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: 48A3 374B
damn, lotz of vocab
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01-19-07, 08:14 AM | #3 | ||||
Flyweight
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IP: 7474 6CC6
your metas are fucking crazy, i read it twice and the way each
section is done is like i said fucking crazy, these lines were very interesting to me... Quote:
these three lines just felt deep, i saw the medical kit as him tryin to salvage the relationship, while the flash light was like hope, and the axe became his desperation, which for me made the whole piece make sense...i started to see the piece in a whole new light...the connections throughout suddenly became clear i saw everything as metaphors for a relationship in trouble, the diamonds bluff...for me became divorce...which correlates with the third stanza, i have theories on the others but its the ending im having the most problems with...if im on the right track...are they at the divorce table or have you twisted the ending to a prequel to when they first got married, its the jokers dismay line thats throwing me...and if im totally wrong sorry bout that…but at least you know I saw something in this piece and I enjoyed it…engaged the mind…dope |
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01-19-07, 11:38 AM | #4 | ||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 2DA9 8083
whooooa i dont know maaan, i like ur theory but from what im seein its told like it is man.......im really likin this shyt here
this is like some shyt from SAW......i mean from the story it went back in the present and then to the past and now its slightly in the future towards the end stakes are high .....aces high......all equal down to the family.......the guy was ABOUT to cheat on his wife i guess......or has been cheatin but the wife doesnt know......dude is always gone and the kid is seein that a divorce is comin up mainly cuz pop isnt home and mommy decided to leave......and all because neither one of em tried to come out str8 forward to solve it all........basically they were both bluffin puttin the marriage at stake....... what he meant by divorce isnt intercourse........they didnt get a divorce over intercourse.....the pop i mean cuz apparantly she didnt know the joker is who he is...the joker....the guy from saw who sees all this happenin and brung both of em in the chamber in the 1st place...... basically when she gets thrown in there shes barely livin and theres a chance to save her......this is another test to see if hes gonna try to save her or eat her since he hasnt eaten.......the medical kit is what it is........but had a note.....what does it say? *shrugs* but he sure is regrettin everything at that point......so in the end they both die.....prob due to the bleedin from both since he cut his leg off.....and well it ended the aces high which was their marriage, which was at stake in the 1st place my thing is.....what about the kid?? but this was good....reaaaaal good challenges the mind and made u think about it all nice |
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01-22-07, 08:32 AM | #5 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: 8A05 210E
damn homie i had 2 read all over tha place but gotta $ay i like thi$ piece alot of multi$, metaphor$, very creative wit thi$ 1 here ....very deep
tha whole $tory was very in depth keep up tha good work fa $ho 10/10
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What'z Really H60d?? Ea$t$ide Rollin 60 NHC |
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01-23-07, 08:46 PM | #6 | ||||||
New Jack
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IP: 0D31 8E69
i give it a 9 .nice work ,it was worth looking all over the place
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02-04-07, 09:39 PM | #7 | |||||
Flyweight
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IP: 81A1 CC38
Quote:
thanks for the dope feed brother. you pretty much nailed it. the guy who posted beneath you can answer ur question regarding the last bit. it was based on a kind of saw theme - however i did try to tie in a lot of metaphors. the story is about a man who throws away true love - hence the divorce - which is mainly due to his gambling obession and neglect for his familiy. his kid then sees this shit goin on, and it affects him negatively - hence why he brings them back together with life on the line. the ending symbolizes their death - and how they can finally love and lay together in peace. The joker, of course, represents his son. while the king and queen are husband and wife
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get attached to a rolling stone and you're libel to get crushed.. |
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