its definately different, coulda been more complex, it reminds me of something on the linkin park board style wise, granted its a keystyle tho it got better all the way through, since you was introducin tha character at first.. just need to deepen that skill a bit and bring it all together....

my fav lines:

And all he wanted was pussy from this girl named Anne
Without any protection he fucked her like a ram
He kept her for a couple more days for his pleasure
All her family searchin like she’s a pirates treasure


keep spittin em man