2nd post here so chyeah
give me sum feed cuhzes

torn hearts and deep scars are my natural allies/
no matter how far i escape my life is still teeming with lies/
my skin-pourous so the poison has reached my soul/
tainted me--forever indulging, eating away sanity/
my life-transformed into blasphemy-/
my version of ecstacy has now taking it's toll/
stimulated passion raging inside my heart/
the feeling of animosity tearing my inner shadow apart/
my versage--mysterious delirious with sorrowful expression/
camoflauging my identity commited to hide the fact/
that my life is messed up so i can keep my honor intact/
somtimes i would just pray for some divine intervention/
asking for sacred teachings of truth to enlighten me/
to make me bouyant so i can float above the enemies/
i ask for angels to release me from an eternity in hell/
release me forever cuz now im stuck in a shell/
but then i finally see the answer/
i cant just rely on another/
just waiting for things to be better-thats not how it is/
you gotta find your reason to live-your reason to die/
united with the king in the sky/
read the bible son, cuz thats the manual/
simple lyrics, simple answers it aint controversial/
if you wanna be happy, dont take the long way just do what i say/
just a piece of advice from me, so have a good day///

links!!!
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=243032
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=242523

uppin for sum feed

not bad....seems kind of rushed....little off on the rhyme scheme matching your structure....u had good vocab....this sounded more poetic than it did a freestyle or topical.......keep writing....~1~ 7/10

like k-m said its more like a poem..a deep poem i give it a 8

give me feedback on mine :you do something to me -wiley d

thankz peeps askin for more feed mangs

i tried to make the rhyme scheme kinda complicated at first den finished off with another scheme to symbolizes how simple the solution is but yeh i dont know if thats a really good idea.... lol uppin for more feed cuhzes

hm it was pretty good overall....the first part used nice vocab and meaning....then u kinda changed styles made it a little more simple...keep up the work

dang yall dont like leavin feedbak do yall

Seems like u shouldve put more time into it other then that it was good!

it was ill..i like it