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06-19-07, 01:16 PM | #1 | ||||||
New Jack
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you do something to me
IP: 8CD5 B31D
Livin life through the pain and agony
My life is movin rapidly Getting money is the strategy Cause im tired of these bitches lyin Claimin its not workin out no matter how hard im tryin Life comes like rain weather So im standin under my umbrella Wonderin if you love me why aint we together so im out here getting cheddar Cause the feeling of money don’t get no better While Im writin my face don’t get no wetter I don’t rap for my health I rap for the wealth Everybody is in the world for there self So maybe instead of being with you I should be with somebody else Cause bein with you got me tied up like a knot And its funny cause I thought the broad they want I got But that’s not…true Cause I don’t really got you I got girls and I know you got dudes I wanna be with the girl that want me but their not you I messed up something good now I want you to come back I reminisce back now im thinking life come fast http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3172675 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...676#post3172676 |
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06-19-07, 01:18 PM | #2 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: F0B4 86F8
mhmh it's ight yo liking the flow n things yo.
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06-19-07, 11:08 PM | #3 | ||||
..........
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IP: 26FC 8E94
i liked this even though it was simple it still flowed smooth and sounded nice when i read it....kind of the way i write when i just want to write something deep and not all complex....not everything has to be a punch or a meta....multis or anything like that....etc....sometimes just being simple is what it takes to get the point across.....good job man keep workin on them...~1~
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06-20-07, 07:29 PM | #4 | ||||||
New Jack
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IP: 8CD5 B31D
good lookin on the feedback can i get more
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06-23-07, 12:40 PM | #5 | |||||
Human Crack in The Flesh.
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IP: B119 469A
Join my crew...and you'll elevate your skills.
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THE 300 DYNASTY
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06-25-07, 09:17 PM | #6 | ||||
New to RV
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IP: 8CC1 3602
Meh, you need a little bit of elevation, but basically it was ok. You need better vocab, and emotion, but i see how your writing, it was pretty cool in my mind..Others may not have liked it, but i kinda enjoyed it, not very poeticly, but a type of song thaty ou would do in audio, but written out..Ok job man
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1X RA Middle-Weight ABL Champ, I'm Bezerk |
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06-27-07, 11:58 AM | #7 | ||||||
New Jack
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IP: CA68 9722
good lookin on the feedback can i get more
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06-27-07, 03:26 PM | #8 | |||||
don't try.
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IP: F1C4 E190
hmm..the simple wordin was effective in its own way. It seems like somethin more for audio...cuz in text ya have to add alot more emotion so you can paint a pic for ya readers...good jobb nigge
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06-28-07, 03:00 PM | #9 | ||||||
New Jack
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IP: 740D FA71
i feel u, im put it in audio as soon as i get the chance
good lookin on the feedback can i get more |
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07-03-07, 10:15 PM | #10 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: C14E F834
i can feel dis, you did good mang. u coulda used more vocab but its a flow so its pretty good. keep it up mang
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07-05-07, 02:15 AM | #11 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: 841F 9CFE
i liekd this it flowed pretty well...deluzion is right could use some more vocab but pretty good work
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07-05-07, 02:56 PM | #12 | ||||||
New Jack
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IP: 739C 955A
good lookin on the feedback can i get more
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07-06-07, 03:09 PM | #13 | ||||||
New Jack
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IP: A1B5 6324
can i get some more feedback
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07-07-07, 03:38 PM | #14 | ||||||
New Jack
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IP: B257 0C68
can i get some feedback
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07-16-07, 10:51 AM | #15 | ||||||
New Jack
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IP: 3012 8573
good lookin on the feedback can i get more
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