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Old 07-06-09, 09:42 AM   #1
LPMNDCTE
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Isolated Freedom

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http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3279142
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3279143


Isolated Freedom

Isolated freedom distorts my vision & breathing
under lock & key so long my hairline's reseeding
missed my son's birthday, even days of teething
pacing back n forth, I angrily await the next feeding
handcuff abrasions limit my wrists' movements
the swelling decreased to reveal reddish bruises
insinuating pain leds me to grind my teeth heavily
still recovering from solitare..think its been a week
the conception of time's irrelevant...as is my sentence
70 years for what! serving time for a tax evasion sentence
What is freedom to a prisons..thoughts keep brain pounding
Brains fatigued on my 19th escape plan, stuck on an island
technological advices ensure I detail a plan B & C
bashing my fist against the wall like I'm using T n T
names not chisseled on wall..but echos down the hall
prisoners showed respect even before I took the fall
false flaggers are fight starters, tho most are harmless
The only six figures I display are on prison garments





..........
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Last edited by LPMNDCTE : 07-14-09 at 03:05 PM.
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Old 07-31-09, 08:32 AM   #2
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upping for some feedback.......................................... ..................
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Old 08-13-09, 03:19 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LPMNDCTE
upping for some feedback.......................................... ..................






upping for some feedback.......................................... .................

good or bad
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Old 08-24-09, 01:40 PM   #4
MurDaH187
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good flow nice multis, hits was there, concpts decent a all around good drop
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Old 09-03-09, 02:33 PM   #5
LPMNDCTE
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good looking Mur..
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Old 09-29-09, 02:13 AM   #6
wiley d
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im feelin it it was all that but it definitly wasnt bad,i like your rymes and hot it flowed
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Old 09-30-09, 01:51 AM   #7
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This Piece Was Good Here Good Vocab Nice Multi's Here And There...Also It Had Some Emotion Witch Is Always Good You Should Complete This In Audio
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Old 09-30-09, 02:01 AM   #8
Ysdat
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I enjoyed the read!
Could of been a bit longer and dug into the depths of the peice. But it was still a good read. Your vocab is decent, nothing mind blowing, but for a brainless audience I guess it pays to dumb it down. lol. rhymes are simple. Structure is on point and the peice flows nice.

Best Line
Isolated freedom distorts my vision & breathing
under lock & key so long my hairline's reseeding

Best Rhyme
Breathing ... Reseeding

Worst line
technological advices ensure I detail a plan B & C
bashing my fist against the wall like I'm using T n T

Worst rhyme
B & C ... T & T


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