Fa sho whybother, appreciate that.. Umm 50, my family really isn't evil. My uncle is just like one of those hard core catholics you know? But after we had a talk today I realized he was talking like that to me because he loves me and just wants the best not just for me but also this family. He almost always criticizes me constantly but when I thought about it, when I do become a pastor, that will happen all the time. And this is just God getting me ready for that.

As for the trials you are going through, dang bro I'm really sorry to hear that. The things you went through are just as bad or and even worst than what I am going through. But God puts all these struggles in our life for a reason only because he loves us like a Father. I know excatly how you feel about growing up poor. The thing is I grew upw ith my dad and he was poor, and I thought my house was the bomb. Than when I went to live with my Mom (divorced) she was rich, and didn't realize that I was living in a tiny diry, old, home with my dad. But the thing is, I never cared how ugly the house was, I appreciated it and love it because i was happy with my dad.

I'm also really sorry about your son bro. I can't say I know how you feel, because dang, I'm still a virgin and waiting till marriage no matter how hot the women that was jocking me. All i can say about that one bro is, God lost his son also. Except God had a choice to sacrifice his son and he let His son die on the cross for us. God know hows you feel. I'm glad your still around though bro. Most people would have killed themselves by than. As for your other son, I'll pray for him every night man that he gets better. Whats his name?

As for you saying you and God arn't in the greatest of terms right now. You may not be in great terms with God, but just know that God never hated, or disliked you or anything. He may have been dissapointed in somethings but everyoen does things to dissapoint him u know? What I can say about this is, God is waiting for you to come to him. He's always there waiting for you but you have to make the first step. Once you make that first step towards him, dude its the most amazing thing in your life. I use to be Rich like crazy, but now I'm not, i dont have a dollar too my name.. well maybe 2 dollars lol. But yeah, I would give away all the money in the world so I can have what I have now with God. If you got questions yo just pm me or hit me up on aim. Best of luck though man, I'll pray for you bro!

__________________