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Old 09-05-10, 09:42 PM   #1
LPMNDCTE
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2nd Round - Semi Finals: Itcha Boy vs. Cola

IP: F5F0 A086

You both know the rules....
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Old 09-07-10, 01:38 AM   #2
Cola
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I've seen tighter rappers on candy bars, your a joke and know this
Cuz after this battle i'll leave em outta place like an eviction notice
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Old 09-07-10, 08:07 AM   #3
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Mother fucker. Who the hell said I wouldn't drop ya, bum?
I've got tons of dope bars at my disposal.. yours just belong in one.
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Old 09-07-10, 02:26 PM   #4
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Ok I'm actually going to drop a detailed vote because I don't want the drama from the last round (which my gripe was about detail in votes not hate please ichaboy you're an aight dude if I'm honest).

But here it goes,

Colas bar was good I liked the 'know this' 'notice' rhyme scheme and the punch itself was a good one...preferred the fact as well you kept the writing normal sized as the last round despite shrinking the verse...it didn't change the fact it was still stretched.

Ichaboy I feel like seeing as though you saw his bars 1st you really had the chance to counter his verse with a decent punch of your own...I felt let down by it because it just didn't hit hard mate. The structure was good and was easy to read (flow wise) but it was more of an attack on Cola rather than a thought out punch.

V/Cola

Re-Edit: in the interests of fairness I've removed my previous statement.
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Old 09-09-10, 02:40 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JTR
how can someone not be an oxymoron? Ever met a fat midget? That's a big, little person. That right there makes that someone an oxymoron

sucez mon gros concombre!


It'd just be an overweight midget, not an oxymoron. You can describe somebody with certain adjectives in attempts to make them one, but they aren't. Also, Mad Dog used it in the completely wrong context and I'm not sure he knows what it even means.

You want a broken down vote? Fine.

Cola
I've seen tighter rappers on candy bars, your a joke and know this
Cuz after this battle i'll leave em outta place like an eviction notice


The set up was super fucking corny and lame. The wordplay was nothing special and it's "you're" not "your" as in "you" and "are" put together (That doesn't lose you points, just fucking get it right).

Alright, the second half of the bar.. Well it's really more of a statement/minor threat than it is a diss. I haven't seen that wordplay before so that was cool, it's a nice idea for the situation, saying you're going to knock him out of the tournament and all (Other people might say they've seen it before, I just don't go around reading battles). Now I don't really like how you designed this punch to land because it doesn't really connect with the first line other than calling him a joke and it pretty much makes the first part of your bar/wordplay irrelevant and useless.

Your flow was just a little bit off on this one, read it out loud a few times before you hit post next time and make the slight adjustments.

My advice is to work on making your punches more whole, so that the set up, the content (wordplay/personal/diss) and overall flow of the punch all come together as one. It's not always best to use wordplay just because you have it and you can, use everything effectively and you'll throw down harder. Sometimes less is more, don't forget that.

Side note (well it's on my mind): Mad Dog commenting on the font size just made me hate people more. If a punch is stretched it's fucking stretched, making the font smaller isn't going to hide that. If the reader is actually reading the punch and isn't retarded they'll know. I used to write all my shit in small font way back.

ichaboy
Mother fucker. Who the hell said I wouldn't drop ya, bum?
I've got tons of dope bars at my disposal.. yours just belong in one.


Well your set up was super basic, but it does connect with the rest of the bar so I suppose it serves it's purpose. If I'm interpreting it correctly then I assume it's kind of a "fuck last week, it means shit" type deal and that works as well. I'm not sure if you intentionally used the word "bum" to try and connect it with "disposal" or if you just used it for the rhyme.. it's a far reach nonetheless.

I thought that the second half of your bar worked well. Again going with the "fuck last week" theme and also a play off of Cola's punch at you, I liked the way that you closed this off. The wordplay was super effective and enjoyable and it hit just right. Your flow was good and I liked the direction and the concept of this one.

My advice is to not throw a fit when somebody votes against you, last week I didn't really like either of the punches too much and I'm still at a toss up of who I would have voted for, but I remember I was leaning more towards Cola. You win some, you lose some, just keep smiling.

Vote:
ichaboy

Don't take my advice to heart, take it to your head and use it in your next battles if you find that it's helpful. That's all I'm trying to do, no disrespect to either of you.

If you guys go a round 3 I want to see your bests. If not, I'll see Cola in the finals.
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Old 09-09-10, 12:17 PM   #6
JTR
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v/2v

i think colas set up was aright, played but it's a set up so who cares eh. The actual punch. Leaving someone out of place doesnt sound hard to me either. Then again neither does, your raps belong in the trash. I mean the wordplay is fresh (to me) although seems like it's obviously been done so many times. And the whole "your raps belong in the trash" is played but then again almost any insult is played so it's hard to come off that fresh

I dont know man, I thought ichaboys was just more classic wordplay text diss style, slightly better executed

really close, I woulda liked to have called this a tie

U guys need to up the complexity of your wordplay. Cola you need to make your set ups more relevent to your punches.

But I suck at text these days and there's no reason for me not too on this site either so don't take my advice too hard, or at all, I dont really give a fuck
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Old 09-09-10, 05:35 PM   #7
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oops, nevermind.

thanks for the breakdowns and votes
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Last edited by Cola : 09-09-10 at 05:38 PM.
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Old 09-13-10, 01:44 PM   #8
LPMNDCTE
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Itcha Boy Wins.... The series is tied 1-1.
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