the asiatic kat spittin with traumatic tactics//
flow be like fully automatics,embalmin kids//
my armor is unpenetrated,for you emulators//
tryna jock my shit,i intoxicate you kids//
extricate your lips,intimidate your kin//
make sure you kids know you cant compete//
im elite,cream of the crop,steamin ya whole fuckin block//
envision my position when spittin and get evaporated//
my minds absent when jabbin kids with javelins//
intact when infatuatin about carbon dated forms of life//
i storm ya eyes with forms of insight torn from inside//
get bombed,slammed and reformed from within, BITCH!//

vocab whaaaa?

This was pretty dope... the VOCAB. for your shit was still pretty hot. You should've made it longer though. Keep spittin' my nigga. HOLLA.

aitn got time to waste just to prove some stupid point.

i agree wit what he's sayin....make the shit longer!!!...
i wanna read more of that shit..that shit was hot...i'd say 8.5-9/10
my favorite line were

envision my position when spittin and get evaporated//
my minds absent when jabbin kids with javelins//































artifacts has spoken

im liken it, favroite line was;
(quote)
im elite,cream of the crop,steamin ya whole fuckin block//
envision my position when spittin and get evaporated//
(quote)
quality flow man, quality

appreciate that. but i dont care too much for that super elevated shit. thats why i keep it simple to smash instrumentals. but yeh. i guess i could be kind enuf to drop more shit liek this.

lol, i like the whole concept... what ya saying is "Fuck you all, hows this for vocab"...lol...yeah i garee tho, what ya need to do is write a whole song like that and post it up here, ill be thefirst to read it

pay back the favor pleez:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=53270

no doubt appreciate the looks ill check ya shit.

meh. this was okay. the vocab was the best part, but that still wasn't great.
I don't really like battle raps. IF you go deeper and write abotu something that matters to you, adding the vocab and flow of this piece, you'll have a way better result
just my two cents

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

ahhhhhhhhh duke gimme a fucking break are you blind? this was meant to shut every mother fucker up telling me im simple. open that third optic kid.

yeah, except it didn't shut me up did it?
I'm not trying to hastle you, but no matter how huge your vocab is, theres always room for improvement.
Why would you want to stop people from telling you what you can improve on?
Shit, my pieces get slept on like fuck, and you write a 5 minutes keystyle that gets more replies than one of mine does in like 2 days.
and you complain about the replies.
peace

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

wow kid your fucking lost. first off wasnt complaining 2nd. i like being criticised. 3rd i hate being told im simple cuz i dotn use vocab. and did i say i gave a fuck if u shutup or not? dont think so. pzz~

^I believe that was where you stated you wanted me to shut up.
but I suppose I never said you're simple. meh, I lose.

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

enough said.