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Old 09-02-03, 02:17 PM   #1
west
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Wrongs And Rights

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Demonic spells casting over tha world coz violence sells/
ozone layer collapse,war and bombings environmental damages and wrongings/
lost belongings,state of crisis and unwordly events/
UN and Nato prevents but still slaughters commence/
hiroshima and nagasaki a breakthrough but an example of earth bein scourned/
september the eleventh a date which will forever be mourned/
innocent death crisis tha devil is encorperated in terrorst acts/
666 tha mark of the beast and peoples loved ones deceased in Iraq/
world war one German dictatorship caused sufferin to the german people/
"all heil Adolf" although he left his people starving yet he has a steeple/
world war two and continuation of deadly sins has tha world seperated/
families parted by prisoner of war camps and execution of jews also many were incarserated/
ten commandments formed "thou shall not kill" but still/
thousands upon thousands have been crucified at tha hands of others/
mary as our mother but still we can't think of each other as brothers/

Hook - It's Sung

Although tha world has gotta solve it's problems/
goverment acts and stipulations won't help us solve them/
we need to treat each other better from day to day/
so our children and youth can have a safe place to play/
And in tha face of war this is what we must do/
so men and women can stay at home with there loved ones and boo/
tha wrongs and rights of our fellow peers must be left in tha past/
so tha world can be peaceful and a safe place to live at last/

b.c we had roman emperor killers and gladiators of tha likes of julius ceasar/
religion had people bein sacrificed for entertainment and leisure/
life ceasure,catholics and jews faught for tha right to preach to tha masses/
millions of people existed but fortune and power was only for upper classes/
marvellous creations egyptians pyramids are a feat which cannot be matched today/
people worshiped sarcophigasses and tombs and mummified kings for which they prayed/
tha mongols ruled with an iron regime as genghus kahn was a mercyless killer/
an army of vikings roamed tha seas raping and piliging remembered as blood spillers/
napolean was an evil genius who wanted to dominate the entire nation/
Britain invaded over half tha world and slaughtered natives without hesitation/
civil war in African continents jus adds to tha pain of tha hiv and aids outbreak/
sinniing is a contagious disease internally we must strive to live in harmony for god sake/
man made elements have given tha world it's meaning and allowed industry to flourish/
money,stock markets,technology so advanced yet drugs are used daily by people to nourish/
wrongs and rights have forever made up tha world in which we call our home/
like formation of stone,we must join together like particles and duplicate so we don't implode and be alone/

Hook - It's Sung

Although tha world has gotta solve it's problems/
goverment acts and stipulations won't help us solve them/
we need to treat each other better from day to day/
so our children and youth can have a safe place to play/
And in tha face of war this is what we must do/
so men and women can stay at home with there loved ones and boo/
tha wrongs and rights of our fellow peers must be left in tha past/
so tha world can be peaceful and a safe place to live at last/

Shout out to ma dawg Bash,Thugzdocry,and all you kats in aNb.

Last edited by west : 09-03-03 at 10:10 AM.
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Old 09-02-03, 02:48 PM   #2
west
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Damn,Slept On ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........
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Old 09-02-03, 03:02 PM   #3
west
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^Word
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Old 09-02-03, 08:40 PM   #4
west
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Uppin
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Old 09-02-03, 10:55 PM   #5
west
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damn not one reply,Sleepin mutha fucka's.
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Old 09-03-03, 10:11 AM   #6
west
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ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzz..........
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Old 09-03-03, 01:29 PM   #7
Alias-C
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damm... ain't nobody saying shit huh...

Yo no disrespect, but I'm guessing it's because some heads might not even have read the whole thing... Your concept is insightful and all, but the shit does tend to get a bit boring for some...

You definitely had some strong vocab up in this, you made it deep, and you seem to have put alot of emphasis on it... but yo, I think you saying too much dawg, I mean the verses might not be that long... but it's like you're craming as much info as you can in each line... cats might get tired to read and shit.. lol...

I personally thought the concept was good, but it's been heard though... oh... I really like this first line "Demonic spells casting over tha world coz violence sells" it was favorite one...

keep doing your thing man, you got skill, this shit proves it... but like I said, it seemed like you crammed too much in it...

-1-
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Old 09-03-03, 02:07 PM   #8
west
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i can see what you mean,but that's exactly what i wanted to do,good that u noticed,it has been gettin slept on,don't know why,i felt it was not a bad concept.

Thanx for tha feed.Peace
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Old 09-03-03, 02:26 PM   #9
**~SynText~**
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ayo nice concept and imagination.....

first....your flow i thought was off...try spicing it up alil.....and it is boring....i mean try to put it in audio or have someone do it for you...then it might not get slept on that much....

overall i liked the vocab,,,and concept thats it

rating
6/10
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Old 09-03-03, 02:29 PM   #10
west
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Dawg it is an audio,and yo 6/10 yo no way was it that weak.

Thanx for tha feed but Damn!!Mutha Fuckas don't know shit.

Peace
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Old 09-03-03, 02:58 PM   #11
RythmicTendicies
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THis Was nice, the structure and bar length were a good combination and it showed. I know i'ce critised about your bar length before but here it was tight.

You told a great story-type thing here, it covered a large amount of topics. Alot of good historcal figures,facts etc... However i fell that it could've been spread out into another verse or even 2, ot just seemed a little crunched.

You had killa wordplay n' vocab as usual...loved the following lines:
Demonic spells casting over tha world coz violence sells/,
666 tha mark of the beast and peoples loved ones deceased in Iraq/,
napolean was an evil genius who wanted to dominate the entire nation/
Britain invaded over half tha world and slaughtered natives without hesitation/
- hott

Overall: 8/10, some bits could have been improved, but you showed a great amount of skill here. Keep it up dawg!
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Old 09-03-03, 03:00 PM   #12
west
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yea feelin that,i was gonna spread over another verse but was eager to get ma drink on and jus posted it like that,but i'll probly drop another verse and spread tha shit out,goin into more detail.

Peace,Thanx for reply.
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Old 09-03-03, 03:51 PM   #13
fgee
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good drop
interesting topic
the history of the worlds wars n shit was kind of condensed
and done well...liked the topic
liked the way u used julius ceasar n genghis n shit..helped keep it good to read
bar lentgh and flow was a bit dodgy in some parts...u still need to work on ryhming thru out the piece....ie interbar rhyming
vocab was good and didnt feel unecessary
overall nice but needs a few touches
also a bit of imagery and wordplay helps
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Old 09-03-03, 04:21 PM   #14
Bigg E Z
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***APPLAUSE***

damnman.....what the fuck does syntext know...!!! anyway....Rythmic sed it all..!!! I was mad lovin that shit.....i dno why i like topicals but i do....i love writin topics that are bout problems and shit like that...!!!

and urs suited my style....i liked it like hell...im not even gona rate it..!! lol....
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Old 09-03-03, 04:22 PM   #15
Bigg E Z
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***APPLAUSE***

damnman.....what the fuck does syntext know...!!! anyway....Rythmic sed it all..!!! I was mad lovin that shit.....i dno why i like topicals but i do....i love writin topics that are bout problems and shit like that...!!!

and urs suited my style....i liked it like hell...im not even gona rate it..!! lol....

ayi....i saw aNB wen i was b4 as another person...( not gona say as who).....I admire all your shit dawg..!!!
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