Verse 1:
Tryin' to make a buck, but it's like the money is stuck
Feels as though I been struck with a life of bad luck
All the artists need to carry their money in trucks
It's like I'm the flower who aint been plucked
If only we were all equal like were made to believe
Then even though I'm white, I could still achieve
When I'm in public they all wanna preconceive
Look at y'all lookin' at me and then perceive
I wasn't even born a normal birth to this messed up earth
Because birth is an event, but mine had no worth
Brought me out the wound, like bein' unearthed
I need to start over like a spiritual rebirth
I portray myself this way cause I'm in a state of dismay
I'm full of a hopeless struggle that will never go away
Everything I say is an array of truth, even to this day
So let me poll a survey, to hear what y'all gon' say


Chorus (x2):
How can I climb the ladder of success?
When all that's there, is a hole of stress
Why do I rap? It's a nowhere progress
But I'll continue writin', nevertheless


Verse 2:
Even my brain's tellin' my heart to quit the struggle
It's like I have too many problems to tryin' juggle
No one wants my goods, like an illegal smuggle
My girl wont even let me come close to snuggle
Burning inside with so much to unload, I'm gonna explode
All this time I've been travelin' down a dead end road
No one even understands this, like I'm writin' in code
So much weight on my shoulders, it's a heavy load
I try to break free from these chains but their grip is to tight
I try every night but I continually loose the fight
People look at me and judge at first sight
My mind races at the speed of light
If only there was someone who's mind connected with mine
Then maybe we could combine and define my lines
What you hear are thoughts of malign
I have no fate, it's time to resign


Chorus (x2):
How can I climb the ladder of success?
When all that's there, is a hole of stress
Why do I rap? It's a nowhere progress
But I'll continue writin', nevertheless


Verse 3:
Okay, now I'ma tell ya what I've really been feelin'
I must got a disease the way my body's healin'
I can't elevate no more, I've reached the ceilin'
This whole thing is a song for revealin'
How can I spill my thoughts if they've all been withdrawn?
I can't continue on because my strive is foregone
Like in chess, I'm as limited as the pawn
Everyday this is what goes on and on
I'm givin' this up, it's time to throw in the towel
I have to quit, cause I've murdered the vowels
It's like I'm in stealth when I prowl
If this was a sport, look at me foul
After hearin' this you'll forget everything that was said
More people would rather listen to the dead instead
I stand in agony as I watch everyone move ahead
That's all for now, my pencil's out of lead


Chorus (x2):
How can I climb the ladder of success?
When all that's there, is a hole of stress
Why do I rap? It's a nowhere progress
But I'll continue writin', nevertheless




Give me your feedback!

Uppin!

Someone hit this up. Any feedback will be appreciated!

nice
nice flow, nice vocab
people shouldn' be sleepin on this
it was a good piece
keep droppin
peace

nice flow nigga that was ill

^Thanks

well honestly ma nig...though its long..it doesnt mean that it'll keep a nig attached....you really lacked wordplay...n your vocab was aiight....if you had iller structure to this...you coulda done somethin...but you lacked to keep the readers interest....

read it over n see what you can make of it...

igido

__________________
freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S

Anybody else?

dont jes reject elevation...if that lil reply of yours is a sarvastic comment...believe me...your not of my level son...im just tryin to elevate

__________________
freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S

Dogg, I wasn't bein sarcastic. Then you come in and start hatin, (you're not of my level). I was just tryin to get more opinions man, come on.

Well it looks more like a poem than a song. But if you change things up and keep working on it, you could turn it into a decent song. I won't knock it, it has potential.

^I'll keep all that in mind. Anyone else?

Yo flowed well,wordplay was a lil lackin but vocab was descent,relevant issues were considered and it was a good flowing read,descent audio here,jus afew multies and a lil more wordplay this would be real tight,it was descent though.

Hit mines up dawg.

Peace