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Old 09-21-03, 11:47 PM   #1
Khôi NguJin
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Blind Sighted

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On the streets of New York it was business an' traffic
Everything was normal, from smell to all this madness
Kids playing basketball on the community courts
Graffiti art tagged on walls - leaders pass the torch
Ice cream vendors, hot dog stands, Yankees win again
Return to sender, humanity plans, thank the heaven sent
A better day cause it was, accepted with one greeting
About two men, and a true story, except at their meeting.

Here on 7th Avenue - wandered - a homeless man
He didn't have a clue - to ponder - to understand
Instead his knowledge spanned on street corners
Hearing in on planned mischief of sheik foreigners
It was repetitive like this everyday for this guy
Soon his white cane, and tattered clothes would leave for the sky
The only jewel of his life, his passion and desire
Was of 2 little wings clasped on his back, to fly higher
It was a drop from the top, he'd knew the day was comming
The sun was silver, as a man left his office running
His build was moderate, Prada clothes - glasses too
Free of facial hair, suave - with Armani shoes
A cane stopped the business man to a halt as he froze
"What is it sir?" the poor man mumbled "where'd you get those?"
"Where'd I get what? "My glasses, shoes?" he just stared
"No, Those wings on your shoulder, I need know where
Ok..? "heres some cash, now make a better living"
"No I need not money, I have a story so please listen"
The business man said "I'm in a hurry, so...make it quick"
"Ok," the story begins in the summer of ninteen seventy six.

The day was 1976, clear as ever as I remember
It was sunday at the chemical plant when I hit a lever
Accidentally though, my insides began to dance
An alarm blared loudly, "damn this stupid plant!"
I felt something inside...and danger was comming.
A worker yelled "gases everywhere!" "Start running!"
I was like "Oh shit, theres no way should I die"
"I ain't ready to fly, I'm engaged to a lovely bride"
Deep inside I felt the tension grip harder n' harder
Chemical gases spreading all over, then there was Carter
I tripped on him, and couldn't get up, "duck for cover!"
So Carter and I were 2 of many scarred by each other
And That's all I remember, now my eyesight was tainted -
Forever - I couldn't even see a masterpiece painting
I was Taken to the hospital, then to the streets I blame -
Carter, cause I will never see life the same again.


That is quite a story you have there Joey Rapport
- But I remember it differently, with no remorse
"And these wings are a symbol of eternity in the gates"
"Meaning heaven, so tell me what's at stake?"
"I'm blind Carter, you been living life freely"
So "it's my turn to be you, and you to be me"
Carters face, overwhelmed while his stomach churned
The two wings were taken from Carter, as tides turned.
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Old 09-22-03, 12:55 AM   #2
DiverseSyndicate
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this piece was ill,good vocab,tight rhyme scheme,good wordplay,tight imagery,well laid out,and a tight twist at tha time, all in all it a 9 out of 10,keep droppin tha hotness.~1~
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Old 09-22-03, 04:04 AM   #3
Baron Mynd
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Yeah, this was pretty dope my man, nicely told story, you made the transitions smoothly to keep the piece moving along but not too quickly, flow was decent as i read it, multi's were there but i felt you could of used more internal-multi's in this piece to really strengthen it. Overall though i liked this, really got into the story of it, made for a nice read.

Props.
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Old 09-22-03, 10:07 PM   #4
Khôi NguJin
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1 upping.
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Old 09-22-03, 10:14 PM   #5
Menik
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This was a good peice, nice story to it, it flowed good, and you could have used some more multies to make the flow stronger, but i liked reading this peice it was good, and if you could check out me and gene pools peice called 2 of a kind..thanks.
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Old 09-22-03, 11:02 PM   #6
C-TownsFinest5
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dope mane.i like da flow.good vocab.overall shit is tight.holla


CTF(represent)
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Old 09-22-03, 11:51 PM   #7
gotaloveforrap
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i was feelin it, the flow was good, the vocab, wordplay, and content kicked ass. that was an ill drop dude, i really enjoyed readin that, so keep postin

yo can u check out my post, 'back in hell', thanx

peace.....
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Old 09-23-03, 01:10 AM   #8
SummonedTitan
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lol alot of fuckin shit to read tho... but it was nice as hell... ill as fuck man...

check it, your style was creative, nice piece, your flow was a lil dreary, you could have used a lil more multis up in this piece, but your rhymescheme had me man, you spat nicely with the topic, not bouncy at all... stayed in one place, this was a nice piece, loved reading it... infact i hope to read more, shit was hot...
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Old 09-23-03, 02:56 AM   #9
WORD~PERFECT
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I LIKES ALOT THIS WAS STRAIT ILLNESS THE CONECPT THE DELIVERY AND CONTENT WAS ERFECT
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Old 09-23-03, 04:21 AM   #10
Baron Mynd
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Just one thing 1/2 -
drop the piece you did with Steezus here so i can put it into Legends. = )

Uppin` for him.
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Old 09-23-03, 07:33 PM   #11
Khôi NguJin
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aiight, dope.

i'll get it up.
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Old 09-23-03, 07:54 PM   #12
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nice, that shit was tight, nice twist at the end aswell, i enjoyed reading it, kept a nice beat. waitin for your next
..............D
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