no chorus yet but I got the 3 verses done and already produced a beat for it\

FEED LINKS:
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=194204
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=193896


VERSE 1:
Im scared of my past, but Im more scared-of-my-future/
Scared-Imma-Lose-Her to all the people who tear-and-abuse-her/
Im scared of a cheater, Im frightened-by-lies/
Frightened-by-cries that I hold back and fight-with-my-eyes/
I hide from feelings, I even coward-to-secrets/
My power-is-weakness when my heart gets devoured-to-pieces/
I hate relationships, I run-from-the-truth/
To get to the “root” of the problem like what’s under-my-tooth/
I flee-from-the-scene, with feelings deleted-from-me/
Beating-my-dreams it seems your not as speechless-as-me/
My heart is gentle now, I’m getting afraid-to-mess/
Been played-the-best that now Id rather just be laid-to-rest/
Make no mistake though, my hearts-strong but long-gone/
My expressions just “cover” my feelings like coats to long-johns/
My appearance is happy, but insides-are-red-hot/
In time-my-head-pops and I begin to cry till my eyes-see-red-dots/

VERSE 2:
My eyes water with fear, I’m no-crier or no-liar/
My flows-tired, the ghost-writer who then arose-higher/
I began my climb to break-free from fake-glee/
You hate-me so much you fuck me over like you just raped-me/
Now I have a new reason to be afraid, its not nasty/
Im so happy because in 7 months Im gonna be a daddy/
Im afraid to fail my family, I will be the best-father/
Son or a daughter? nobody will help, why would the rest-bother/
It doesn’t matter to me as long as my baby’s-healthy/
God didn’t make-me-wealthy but we’re ok is what my lady-tells-me/
Im afraid my child-will-fail, thinking about me as it lies-in-a-cell/
While Im describing-my-self, my own kid will fall to the violence-in-jail/
Now you might think Im a scaredy-cat, but Im telling you now Im barely-that/
Because a lot of people scared to touch me like masseuses to hairy-backs/
I just know my future has in store-better, there’s more-cheddar/
And I can become the “sun” (son) who arose in this storm-weather/

VERSE 3:
Ive now realized that Im not just scared-all-the-time/
Im afraid of myself, but maybe my child will inherit-these-rhymes/
And read over and know what their fathers-about/
But I know my kid isn’t born yet so I cant bother-him-now/
I gotta overcome my fears, I was born stronger-than-this/
Ill be fond-of-my-kids, cuz I know my patience is longer-than-this/
I cant control my anger, what is it that’s got-me-thinkin/
Im caught-wit-satan, but I don’t need to run from the “law” to “cop-this-bacon”/
Its time to turn around, do a 180 and grow-up-High/
Ya know-these-cries to your baby aint what you wanna show-its-eyes/
Its time to be a man, do ya duties and be with-ya-girl/
Its-ya-girl that’s carrying the little thing which is-ya-world/
It takes two to make a child but it only takes one to ruin-it/
Ill see how true-it-is once its here and Im actually doin-it/
But until that day comes I need to face-my-fears/
Wait-for-years when Im so happy you can see my face-with-tears/

can I get some feed?

This was a nice piece, best thing was th flow good multies through out.

Had good imagery and emotion in places too.

RTF on something

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Daubs MySpace

appreciate the feed

nobody leavin feed

I'm afraid? Are you a wussy or something?

Nah, I'm just playing around.. but for real..

This shit would sound nice as an audio. You had good multis, which usually, I think are totally useless, but you used them right. You didn't go out on tangents when you used them, but instead stuck to the topic. Your flow was steady throughout the work.

The imagery and emotion displayed in this was nice. For real, I liked this peice.

Keep dropping your shit yo.

^^ appreciate it..multis are a huge part in tight songs, alot of people use crazy multis (Eminem being a big one who uses a lot of multis)...and no im not a wussy, I wrote about that in the 2nd verse

Now you might think Im a scaredy-cat, but Im telling you now Im barely-that/


thanks for feedin

Im scared of my past, but Im more scared-of-my-future/
Scared-Imma-Lose-Her to all the people who tear-and-abuse-her/

liked this line, content was good, multis nicely used

Im scared of a cheater, Im frightened-by-lies/
Frightened-by-cries that I hold back and fight-with-my-eyes/

good emotions, again with tha nice multies

I hide from feelings, I even coward-to-secrets/
My power-is-weakness when my heart gets devoured-to-pieces/

these was tha best multies throughout, good emotion

I hate relationships, I run-from-the-truth/
To get to the “root” of the problem like what’s under-my-tooth/

good wordplay

I flee-from-the-scene, with feelings deleted-from-me/
Beating-my-dreams it seems your not as speechless-as-me/

not as good, but it works

My heart is gentle now, I’m getting afraid-to-mess/
Been played-the-best that now Id rather just be laid-to-rest/

do sad nd dreary

Make no mistake though, my hearts-strong but long-gone/
My expressions just “cover” my feelings like coats to long-johns/

nice wordplay nd multies

My appearance is happy, but insides-are-red-hot/
In time-my-head-pops and I begin to cry till my eyes-see-red-dots/

not so good, too girly like lol, be a man!!

overall 7/10 .. nice piece.. return tha favor on 'returnin tha favor [maddrapper diss]'
thanks, peaCe.1

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appreciate it...favor has been returned

Good shit my friend. Finally multies that aren't wack..

^^ haha, thanks homie

ups one more time

this was really good....you got multies and structure on lock im really feelin this one man....7/10 good isshhh

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www.soundclick.com/dollaback

appreciate the feed